We understand what our beliefs are that control and drive our behaviours. But why have we adopted these behaviours? Each behaviour we use serves a purpose. It fulfils certain basic needs that we have as people. The more fundamental needs the behaviour satisfies, the more likely we are to become addicted to that behaviour. Hopefully it will be a positive behaviour. If we are looking to dislodge a negative behaviour pattern, then we need to understand what needs it is meeting in us, so that when it comes to replacing it with a positive behaviour, we are meeting at least the same needs, preferably more. If the new behaviour does not meet enough needs, it will not last. Also the belief that justifies the behaviour may not be reinforced enough with sufficient references or table legs. Below we briefly look at the six fundamental human needs.
Certainty - long term or short term. e.g. beliefs about yourself, about not knowing, control freak, watching a movie you've seen before, a 9-5 job with steady income and low risks, being depressed, going on holiday to your favourite place, being comforted by death (giving life a finite end point), illness, etc.
Uncertainty, e.g. challenges, surprises (pleasant ones), variety. A movie provides a sense of uncertainty as we do not know what is going to happen next (hopefully!) Too much uncertainty, for example financial insecurity or travelling lifestyle, may drive you crazy after a while.
Significance, e.g. respect, challenging or difficult relationships, teenagers search for significance, being the best or most infamous at something, etc.
Connection and love - develop a psychological problem and you can get attention from others, having a pet, being depressed (connection with self)
Growth - if you have fulfilled all four previous needs with your behaviours, and they are in line with your beliefs, and are not destructive, then you need to move to the next level where you need to have personal growth and personal development.
Contribution beyond yourself - if you have all five above needs fulfilled with your behaviours and beliefs, then you need to move to the top level of contributing to others, rather than just fulfilling your own desires, e.g. charity work, helping others, raising children, starting a web site about health and psychology (!) etc.
An example of a negative behaviour pattern is being depressed. This behaviour is based upon our negative self beliefs with derived and interpreted/imagined references. The act of being depressed gives us a sense of certainty, as it means we know what we are going to get when we feel sorry for ourselves (i.e. the same thing! Nothing!), as we shut ourselves away and do not engage so much in our surroudings (i.e. hiding away in certainty of sanctuary). It does nothing for a sense of uncertainty. It makes us feel significant, because we are choosing to focus on ourselves and make OURSELVES depressed. We are giving ourselves NEGATIVE attention, which is a source of significance. We are feeling a connection with ourselves, which the world seemingly is not giving us (we interpret incorrectly/ascribe wrong meaning of course), but we are not allowing ourselves to experience any self-love or love from others. We are not growing, in fact quite the opposite, and we are not contributing beyond ourselves. So if we are to tackle our depression, we need to tackle these ridiculous beliefs we hold about ourselves, but also we need to replace this with empowering new habits that fulfill more of these fundamental needs, which shouldn't be too difficult as we only have 3 out of 6 fulfilled with depression. In addition to all the pain it causes us. We don't like it!
Another example of an imbalance of human needs is too much certainty. Perhaps your entire day is governed by a routine, regular and identical meals, the same number of cigarettes or cups of tea or coffee, the same route to work by car, the same people at work, the same hours, the same routine once you get home, the same TV shows, the same music CDs, the same husband or wife, the same sexual positions (if you are lucky!), the same way of going to bed. If one is not careful, one can fall into an auto-pilot of routine, where one is not fully aware of oneself and there here and now. Beliefs about possibilities disappear. One rarely smiles. One may tend to try to get through one's routine as quickly as possible, for example, rushing breakfast, not noticing or tasting what one is eating, having no memory of the journey into work, and perhaps driving too fast and aggressively even though one will make it on time. All one's actions may become reckless and one's awareness is not in one's whole body, it withdraws inside the head. Clearly there is too much certainty here, and in such a scenario the person is likely to feel numb, stressed, depressed or unhappy. Such people resort to occasional bouts of drug taking, drinking, adultery or irresponsible behaviour to bring some uncertainty into their lives. But often, these become a routine in themselves, and quickly become boring. What is the answer? One must try to introduce uncertainty into one's daily routine. Try to break it up. Try a different way into work. Try doing things slightly differently. Occasionally discipline yourself to trying a new creative activity every week, for example. Try meditation to calm the mind and increase your awareness. Try a form of martial arts (soft or hard) that will increase your self-discipline, bodily and spiritual awareness and co-ordination. Pay attention to what is around you and try to appreciate it. Remind yourself of what you are grateful for. Try to be spontaneous, and believe in yourself and in possiblilities and opportunities. Try to be creative and think of new opportunites, that may be all around you at this very moment (creative, social, financial, employment, games, physical, romantic, spiritual etc). Taste that food! Have a grateful attitude like each day is your last, but that you plan and improve yourself as if you are going to live forever. Some activities you partake in may introduce uncertainty, but otherwise you can have a spontaneous and 'here and now' approach to your certainties, i.e. your routine. Do not try to destroy your routine or disconnect yourself from it. You need to engage yourself and your spirit more in your life, not the other way around. Things don't get interesting by themselves and by disconnecting, you have to engage, connect, be playful, be vivacious and be glad to be alive!
An example of the need for certainty is manifest in one's global view of one's environment. Most people require a certain element of 'certainty' or 'safety' in their environment. That is to say, the belief that it is fundamentally safe to walk out of the front door and down one's street. Of course, in certain areas, at certain times of the night, it may be considered by some to be a little 'dodgy', but that is a conditional 'rule' or conditional belief. It does not affect one's global perception. However, the media, with it's desire to sell papers, often plays up the danger to the public, when in turn causes more fear and stress amongst the population. Is this reflecting public opinion or forming it? Probably both, but with more emphasis on the latter in BlackSpy's opinion. When a specific 'horrific' crime occurs, and is reported, it is often dwelled upon by the media, as it is believed to shock the public's sensibilities. Other causes of death are generally not reported, such as traffic accidents and deaths by heart disease, as they are not considered 'sensationalised' enough and do not provide that 'shock value' required to sell papers and promote ratings. However, when such an incident does occur, people may lose their sense of certainty or safety. They feel that the outside world is more hostile and cannot be relied upon. Their belief about human nature is eroded. This belief however can be more or less restored if there is closure, i.e. if someone is arrested for the crime. People watch such shocking news stories, seeking to have their sense of morality and decency offended, and are angry and want justice and sometimes 'revenge' on the culprits. By having someone apprehended, that 'exception' to the rule is thereby 'removed', restoring people's perception of safety again, even if they always were and still will be more likely to be run over by a car or crash their car. Sometimes the desire for closure becomes almost irrational, that this is really what people are after, rather than concern for the lives of those actually affected. When something in 'society' 'goes wrong', we like to have someone to blame. In some cases, the root causes however are issues that affect and are affected by every member of society in some capacity. Of course, some people live in neighbourhoods or environments where there is a constant uncertainty regarding violence, bad behaviour or drinking bouts etc. This causes a perpetual background fear and stress in some people, and can erode self-confidence and detract from a desire to fulfil other fundamental needs, as the most basic need is not being met.
Studies have shown that acts of kindness or love to others actually raises the serotonin levels of the recipient and also strengthens the immune system of the recipient. Not only this, but the giver of the act of kindness also receives these benefits! And lastly, even a person observing an act of kindness being given receives these benefits! So whether you give or receive or watch an act of kindness being given, you will feel better! And what is more, you are more likely to then go on and perform an act of kindness to someone else. Thus when you visualise what you want, try to also visualise the same benefits for other people you know too. The converse follows in that acts of hostility often result in one 'kicking someone else' (often someone who cannot do anything about it - e.g. people beneath one at work or other road users etc) to make oneself feel better or empowered, which causes a chain reaction of negativity. Contribution beyond yourself is good for your health and also good for your environment. This is no coincidence! It is a built in inclination in our minds to help act as a social glue and promote well being and harmony in our society/group.
Abraham Maslow's 1945 paper A Theory of Human Motivation defined his concept of the Hierarchy of Needs. Here, it shows the different levels of needs a person is focussed on at any point in time. In general terms, if a person is fixated on one level, he is unlikely to be in a position to fulfill other more sophisticated needs at higher levels. This may not be strictly true, but in general, the more time one spends at lower levels, the less time one will spend at higher levels. At the bottom of the hierarchy are the basic physiological needs of food, warmth, shelter, sleep, excretion. The next level up is safety. Then loving and belonging. Then esteem. Then self-actualisation. It is likely that some of Taylor Hartman's defined negative characteristics of each personality type building block seem to coincide with some of the lower levels of Maslow's hierarchy. Funnily enough TV advertising tries to create a want for products often by creating or enlarging a pain that exists in people. Such pains are often security based fears and needs, which are enlarged by modern consumer culture in order to sell you more products and keep people from self-actualising and thinking outside the box. Maslow's theory is described below on Wikipedia.
John Cleese's book Families, And How To Survive Them details how a person's emotional and personal growth is dependent on experiences gained as a child from one's friends and family. Often, if a father figure is missing, then a person's emotional growth will become stunted. But that need for that experience can come from another male figure in the person's life, even at a later stage in adulthood. Lack of playful experiences with one's parents, one's siblings or friends can also stunt a person's growth. A claustrophobic family unit with little scope for personal freedom, autonomy or self-expression (e.g. a dominant father and/or brother) can stunt a person's personal growth also. To a certain extent, such experiences can be visualised to fool the brain into thinking it is experiencing them for real, but the rest option is to actually experience them! A lack of key necessary experiences in a person's life can result in the person seeking to fulfill lower level needs in the Maslow hierarchy, for example lacking the confidence to express oneself and interact, and always concerned with physiological and security needs. Some young children stay in this physiological need zone, complaining if they engage in any activity where they might become hungry or cold for any period of time. Many adults remain here also.
Dr William Glasser's concept of Choice Theory is in some respects very similar to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. It incorporates other concepts such as fun, freedom and responsibility. One can see some very clear overlap with the positive and negative characteristics of Taylor Hartman's building blocks of personality, whereby the fulfillment of the higher levels of both Glasser's and Maslow's needs is akin to gaining the positive qualities of all 4 positive personality type building blocks (without suppressing one's core personality type). Choice Theory is briefly described on Wikipedia below.
Carl Jung believed that young people in trying to find themselves and their identity, invariably focussed on the first 3 or 4 of the above Human Needs, by moving away from the Collective and pursuing the self, only returning in one's late 30s or so, back towards the collective consciousness again, and wishing to contribute beyhond oneself and for the good of the collective. This is examined more on the Jungian Shadow page.
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