Depending on what our beliefs are, we will feel about things accordingly. Beliefs are ideas, not reality. They are ideas about ourselves, others, the world and situations, which we have picked up during our lives consciously or inconsciously. Many beliefs we just acquired without knowing it and if psychoanalysed we probably have no idea why we believe them. Some beliefs help us and keep us from danger. Other beliefs limit our potential, make us unhappy or stop us appreciating the moment. Beliefs can create a set of rules or circumstances that must happen before we allow ourselves to experience a certain emotion. For example, having a certain amount of money before we can feel happy. However, we shift our goal posts without realising it, and in many cases never actually reach the 'nirvana' or happiness that we originally planned to allow ourselves when we fulfilled all the criteria and rules we set out, of what we believed was important. Some people may never feel happy until they have saved the entire world of hunger, poverty and perhaps eliminated all inconsiderate driving and love rat behaviour. Beliefs are backed up and strengthened in our minds by references. Beliefs lock us into the way we focus on things around us. And our focus perpetuates and strengthens our beliefs. Negative beliefs create addictive negative thought patterns and stress. They sap our energy. Some of our negative beliefs we may be completely unaware of, until we have removed or 'exorcised them' from our minds. Others we may be aware of to some degree but believe that they give us strength. Negative beliefs can be metaphorically or literally viewed as 'demons' that are controlling and ruining our lives (or vice versa), and only be removing them can we be free and happy, and enjoy our lives in the here and now, and open ourselves to possibilities.
We really have to be honest with ourselves, and come up with all the negative beliefs we have about ourselves and others, and to try to come up with great reasons why they are rubbish, and really feel these reasons and believe them. We then need to come up with positive, empowering beliefs to counteract them and replace them. Try this exercise and write down all the negative beliefs you have about yourself and your environment, really brainstorm it. Put on some up tempo music, and give yourself 5 minutes for the negative beliefs. Then again another 5 minutes for the negative beliefs. Now go through this list and pick out the 5 biggest, more limiting negative beliefs that hold you back. And pick out the 5 counteracting positive beliefs. Either alone or with a friend, go through each one and say something like 'I used to believe that old rubbish/[insert expletive, whatever works for you!] that [insert negative belief but say it with a silly voice so it sounds ridiculous]. That's rubbish/[insert optional expletive]. The truth is, [insert positive belief, saying it with enthusiasm, passion, like you really mean it!]. Do this for each belief. Go through your list. Then repeat several times. Preferably to some music that really gets you motivated or that makes you feel alive. You are building positive reinforcing beliefs and knocking down the negative ones. If you just try to knock down the negative beliefs, you will leave a void and they will creep back again!
Another perhaps even better technique of breaking down negative beliefs that cause massive amounts of stress in our lives and interrupting negative behaviour patterns is called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). It combines the breaking down of a negative belief by speaking it aloud repeatedly whilst simultaneously tapping and rubbing certain acupressure points on the body. It is incredibily powerful and much more than the sum of its parts actually sound like. A free download to the EFT manual is listed on the Bibliography and Links page. The alternative is to see a practitioner of EFT who can guide you through the process and show you in person the correct points to use, which can sometimes initially be difficult when learning from a book or manual.
Lyrics to Rollins Band song 'Low Self-Opinion' are found below:
'I think you got a low self opinion man
I see you standing all by yourself
Unable to express the
pain of your distress
You withdraw deeper inside
You alienate yourself
And everybody else
They wonder what's on your mind
They got so tired of you
And your self ridicule
They wrote you off and left you behind
You sleep alone at night
You never wonder why
All this bitterness wells up inside you
You always victimize
So you can criticize yourself
And all those around you
The hatred you project
Does nothing to protect you
You leave yourself so exposed
You want to open up
When someone says
Lighten up
You find all your doors closed
Get yourself a break from self rejection
Try some introspection
And you just might find
It's not so bad and anyway
At the end of the day
All you have is yourself and your mind
The self hatred that blinds you
Binds you grinds you keeps you down
The world falls down around you
You build up walls around you
You wear disgust like a crown
If you could see the you that I see
When I see you seeing me
You'd see yourself so differently
Believe me
I know the self doubt that
runs inside your mind
I know the self that treats you so unkind
If you could see the you that I see
When I see you
You would see things differently
I assure you'
Negative beliefs erode our confidence and happiness. They reduce our love for ourselves and others. They limit our positive actions, possibilities and potential. A metaphoric representation of negative beliefs is shown below.
Positive beliefs make us feel good about ourselves and our environment, enhance our love for ourselves and others. Beliefs such as 'I am sexy', or 'I am the greatest', 'I give myself permission to totally relax', 'I give myself permission to be really happy and have great health' or 'I am totally relaxed' etc are useful, and the more we repeat these to ourselves everyday, then the better we will feel, and the more relaxed we become. You can feign confidence (certainty) and eventually you will become confident (certain) without realising it. The brain does what it is told. You can't expect the brain to deliver the goods if you keep telling it that it can't do it! All belief is is a sense of certainty about something. People who are indecisive or who lack confidence lack a sense of certainty. Beliefs such as 'I can't do this thing', or 'I am useless at that' are not empowering and will erode your confidence in other areas. We may not have chosen these beliefs, many have been acquired without us knowing about it! From friends, parents, ourselves, peers, teachers (huge culprits!) You know who you are! Shame on you! Teachers and other professionals in a paternal role don't realise how they shape people's lives and ought to be more encouraging rather than focussing their attention on their favourites and putting everyone else down.
Many negative beliefs are created through fearful states and messages that encourage people to be fearful about certain things. The media (newspapers, TV shows and movies in particular), our education systems, parents and peer groups often instill ideas about the way things are, and how we must be fearful and worried about certain types of situation. This are often arbitrary beliefs and ideas, and bear no resemblance to reality. Fear paralyses people into passivity and inaction, rather than analysing the risks and limits of a given situation, on its own merits, and the real available options that exist (that many people do not consider), in a cool and detached manner. Fear does not allow us to really listen and observe what is going on around us. We are instead observing an interpretation or nightmare/bad dream version of reality. We are not seeing the world with clarity in that given moment. Rarely is appropriate, positive or confident behaviour a result of fearful states. Fearful states do not allow us to build confidence easily. Fear is a fight or flight response which is a defence mechanism. Fear often leads to panic and irrational behaviour. Fear is examined in more detail in the Phobias section of the Focus page.
For example, fear of a certain 'type' of person, a fear of adverse weather conditions whilst driving, fear of being assertive, fear of the reaction of other people, fear of crime, all lead to excessively paranoid behaviour or thoughts. An example of fear of being assertive or of the reation of a particular person is often based on our attaching great significance and meaning to their power and importance, and their right to their position and their right to their hostile feelings that we imagine we will receive if we try to be assertive with them; and little belief behind our own - a belief that we have no right to our feelings of frustration at an imbalanced or inappropriate situation where we have allowed a person to tread on others toes, start slacking or become arrogant. If you don't believe in yourself (you don't deserve it) and you do believe in the other person (that they do deserve their 'unreasonable stance' or 'hostile feelings towards you), then you may fret for minutes, hours or even days about an upcoming 'confrontation', when the actual reception you receive is calm and relaxed, as it is reasonable in nature, and that you fretted about it all for nothing - like a 'bad trip' or 'negative, paranoid fantasy'. The core negative belief, besides inflating the other person's power and importance, is a fundamental belief that we aren't worth it or don't deserve the right thing. A negative fantasy is all about the other person's imagined response and them, rather than about you. Try to identify this happening in yourself. It is also important to try to see things from the other person's perspective, and the possible issues they may have with you also, that you could perhaps improve on, which would put your own brievances or requests in a better light.
The right amount of confidence is required, that comes across as effortless ease. Not too little and not too much either. We are not suggesting that one should be mindlessly overconfident either, to the point of self-deceipt and arrogance, denying reality, not listening or observing what is really around us - this would be instead seeing a positive fantasy version of what is around us; and far from wisdom.
Most people are opposed to torture in all its forms, whether used during war time or by corrupt and totalitarian regimes. However, do we often extent this value and respect for life to ourselves? Why do we object to the torture of others when we subject ourselves to excessive levels of torture and psychological self-abuse on a daily basis? Clearly on some level we consider it a 'luxury' or 'freedom of choice' that we can allow our egos to beat us up whenever we 'feel like it' (or in other words become slaves to the negative thought patterns, negative beliefs and negative patterns of focus of our conscious mind and ego). Should we not call Amnesty International, so they can step in and campaign to stop all this abuse?!
It is often said that 1000 statements of encouragement or compliments are required to negative one insult or scolding. Perhaps there is some exaggeration there, and that some require more external feedback than others (some being more internally oriented). However it does ring true. When we hear encouragement, it reinforces or helps to nurture sapling positive beliefs (seeds) that are fragile in their early stages but can become huge, unmovable trees when they are grown big enough. Negative beliefs are usually very large and deep rooted trees, that require many choppings of the axe to really come down - some might compare them to certain vines that strangle 'positive belief' trees and suffocate them, taking all the light and killing off the 'positive belief' tree. One can almost never have enough positive encouragement; but it is such a rare commodity in most people's lives. Criticism is usually the normal mode of 'encouragement', in a perverted sort of way, with appreciation of what one likes usually met with silence and not often acknowledged.
Many people often put concern of others over their own wellbeing. Why is this? It most likely stems from a deep rooted lack of self confidence and self-belief. It is the negative belief that you are not worth as much as others, and that their wellbeing is of paramount importance compared with yours. This may be displayed in behaviour where one looks after the interests of others, be it material, emotional or medical, but never one's own, because one does not want to cause a fuss and draw attention to oneself as one simply is 'not worth it'. In such cases, it requires extreme effort to actually make steps towards looking after oneself properly. This is perhaps a case of the Jungian Shadow, where one is sensitive to the suffering of others but not one's own. Being afraid of the reactions of others to what one might say or do is another example of this. In situations where one really ought to be assertive and state one's case, one may agonise over doing so on account of the fear of the other person's reaction. This is giving the other person power over you. You cannot always go around pleasing others and why would you want to? You cannot just go on try to keep others happy as they will generally seek to take advantage of you. If you do not stand up for what is right when it counts, people will get used to this and behave worse and worse. They would not put up with it from you, so why should you put up with it from them? The same goes for fear of offending people with a comment or joke we'd like to make. Some may say 'you can't say that!' or 'you might offend them'. Our westernised cultures put such a high value on not offending people with a correspondingly high stigma associated with offending someone. Some people with their many rules for what is acceptable are in a sense going around asking to be offended. What is there such a fear of offending people? What's so wrong with someone being offended? When someone gets offended, nothing actually happens. They do not suffer a loss of life or limbs. We often tell our children when they are arguing, 'sticks and stones can break your break your bones, but words can never hurt you'. Why does this change when we are adults? When one is a child, one sorts out one's disagreements with very mild violence. In adulthood, most fighting is done verbally, only occasionally spilling into violence. Clearly if this saying isn't true, why do we tell it to our children? Shouldn't we practice what we preach? Why should we be offended by others? And why should we be so preoccupied with sanitising everything - the more you do so, the more people fear anything else, and the more easily people become offended and correspondingly stressed. Offence is all about the ego having it's desire to impose its values on the world given a little slap in the face. Our politically correct culture creates laws against offending people is perhaps ridiculous in absolute terms. So if no one is allowed to offend anyone in the workplace or public arena - does that eliminate people's thoughts about each other? Does it just create a sense of superficial harmony whereas under the surface there are things people need to say but are constrained from doing so? The biggest peer group dictates its values to the rest of the population.
When we want to drive from one city to the next at night, we can only see ahead of us as far as our headlights. But we know that if we continue for a certain amount of time that we will reach our destination, even if we can't physically see it in front of us now. We are CERTAIN that if we continue on this strip of tarmac it will eventually lead to the chosen place. We KNOW the road will not suddenly end with a big cliff that we will drive off. We know it will be simple and we know what we need to do, we are certain about our destination, and we just get on with it. We are focussed however primarily on the next 100 yards and getting them right. The goal will come when its time is right and it will indeed be ours. So don't be scared off or put off just because you can't see the goal right in front of you! Be certain! Have faith and BELIEF in yourself, in your goal, and your ability to meet that goal. And you will get it.
Try to get in touch with your gifts and your talents, find out what they are, and remind yourself of them and be grateful for them, and really treasure, nurture and develop them. Stengthen them with positive beliefs about them and yourself. So many people have talents that they never explore or realise, as they have been conditioned by negative beliefs about themselves from birth. Don't rebel against your gifts, deny your gifts through desires for loyalty, inappropriate modesty, embarrassment, political correctness, or because of beliefs about which of your gifts and qualities are important and which are not, or beliefs about which of your gifts and qualities are cool and which aren't cool, decisions arbitrarily made based on beliefs that you have acquired often unconsciously and happen to believe in at one point in your life, but which sets the map for the rest of your life. Loyalty is often a form of fear (of leaving or breaking free) in disguise! Don't die with your music still inside you!
Quite often, our perception of reality is heavily distorted by perceptions of what is good and bad, with arbitrary meanings ascribed to objects or situation, which stops us seeing what is really there. This is one of the concepts of the 'Absurd' of Existentialism. The philosophy that nothing has any objective meaning apart from that which we give to it. One aspect of this is society's use of the language of polarity. The language of opposites. The language of opposition. For example, we are told that the opposite of hot is cold. What does 'opposite' really mean? What we really mean is one object has more heat energy than another, which has less. The second object is less hot. When we say the opposite of light is dark, what we really mean is dark is a condition where there is less light. And absolute quantities are difficult to describe and indeed measure! A quality is always relative. A person may be considered rich amongst one group of people and poor in another group of people. Which is he? Rich or poor? Does the terminology really mean anything? One has varying levels of abundance. There is no such thing as poor. The same concept can be applied to 'good' and 'evil'. Love and hate. There is no such thing as evil, just the absence of love. A purely evil action can be considered to be devoid of any kind of love-based norm or morality. It is an action that is done purely for the doers benefit that has extremely detrimental effects on others. It is not 'evil' per se.
Monotheistic faith can be viewed the same way, there is God or not God, love or not love, and varying shades in between. Is there really such a thing as the 'Devil'? Or is this just the embodiment of rebellion and turning away from God in every area and pure ego-driven beliefs and behaviour? To an extreme? You decide. The nature of using polarity in one's perception often results in not seeing the relativity of a situation, not being objective, becoming blase and unappreciative. We may ascribe a sense of good to one extreme and bad to the other, but usually this perception shifts with time, so that we become more demanding and fussy, and only that which is closer to 'perfection' in our eyes makes us feel good momentarily.
Perhaps evil can be considered as a collective consciousness, or rather, like culture does not belong to any one individual, but exists only because of the people that embody it, and is passed on in a population and between generations like a 'virus', so perhaps the collective concept of an 'evil' force is also spread in this way, in the form of negative beliefs and negative suggestion being passed on from one person to another, like a negative virus, that mutates as it spreads, reinforcing other existing negative beliefs, self-hatred, insecurity, stress or vulnerabilities, and manifesting itself in certain individual in selfish, anti-social, sadistic or inhumane acts. This can be seem where entire groups or populations whip themselves up into a collective psychosis. Please see the chapter on the Jungian Shadow for related discussion.
Some people go through life actually actively avoiding the act of addressing and confronting areas where they realise they are deficient in psychologically, as it would entail some work and effort and stepping outside his or her comfort zone. These may be behaviours that routinely cause problems, aggravation or difficulties for us, and/or those or things around us, and which perhaps require remedial action (physically or psychologically) to mop up the downstream mess from these patterns. We may be used to doing this so don't see it as painful emotionally or a big problem, and it is tempting for many of us to put it out of our minds when we don't notice its effect or that behviour is not engaged in. Or when we are aware of it, we may blot it out and kid ourselves that it isn't happening or that it's no big deal. It is hard to view ourselves objectively, to see our Jungian Shadow, but the more self-aware we are and the more honest we are with ourselves emotionally, then the more we notice. Others may notice such deficiencies in us more easily. We may from time to time receive feedback from others, in the form of comments, suggestions, or surprised responses etc., that can be helpful in providing us with pointers to our deficiencies. A common response is to either ignore these, entertaining them only for a second or two and making a brushing off statement to oneself inside one's head to say that one will perhaps look at addressing that later - which of course never happens); or to become defensive and deny or refute the allegation or to start attacking the other person verbally to divert attention away from oneself, to justify one's own shortcomings because the other person is not 'perfect' either. We often defend our deficiencies to ourselves and others and try to protect them as if they are part of us - in a sense, they are, but only because we like to stay in our comfort zones and that is as slaves to our deficiencies, which can be quite miserable, but they are OUR misery. This kind of thinking is not really very logical or helpful. Your deficiencies are not your friends. They are just blips or bad pieces of programming. They are like fleas in your carpet. On some level we may think we don't deserve to fix them and address them and engage in the behaviours we are avoiding, as they require more confidence and self-belief. Shying away from the knowledge of our deficiencies and shortcomings, often in the form of disempowering habits or a lack of confidence at a certain activity or an inability to treat ourselves properly or to pay attention to certain areas of our lives because of low self-esteem in certain areas (e.g. looking after oneself properly) is not clever and you won't get a prize for doing so. It simply means that you will be walking around slightly disempowered for many years or decades with the same disempowering habits, when you could have been enjoying a much richer existence. Don't wait until you have no choice but to change or it gets worse or more noticeable and you can't stand not changing any more. Be positive and address those core negative beliefs that underlie this lack of confidence and work at building up your confidence in this area; and be prepared to step outside your comfort zone and to feign confidence initially, to physically break the conditioning and habit. It may feel very strange and uncomfortable at first, but feeling strange is good, it means you are building up new neurological connections in your brain. You can't change habits without doing this. Try to enjoy the new sensations and feel good about the end goal now!
Confidence comes from positive and empowering beliefs about oneself. Try to connect with your passion and your youthful dreams and your power and confidence will come from there. One can fake confidence and eventually the beliefs that one has to employ to 'fake it' will rub off on you and by experiencing them for brief periods, you will come to believe them. These 'fake' beliefs are probably good, empowering beliefs that are true, that one was too 'embarrassed' to really believe as one's negative beliefs had really taken hold and the ego put up resistance. Often, a lack of confidence comes from not having done something before, or not having done it for a while. The mind has created a set of negative beliefs around the fact that the task at hand is new, and it must therefore be difficult. Perhaps you are afraid of failing. Or being rejected. Once you have forced yourself to do whatever it is, and you lose your fear, and you become familiar with whatever it is you wanted to do, then it becomes second nature. You KNOW it is easy. No problem at all. If you had convinced yourself and really believed it was easy to start with, then it would have become a whole lot more relaxing and effortless to achieve! Often people who are confronted with a new task are totally confident and just get on with it. This is why. The belief is there, the self-confidence. If you can't manage this then forcing yourself to go and do something outside your comfort zone can help to dispel other fears in unrelated areas about why or how you are unable to do something. By doing nothing and backing out all the time, you are making a choice and building walls around yourself. If you think of all the people who are good at approaching girls, starting new businesses, not being bullied, having fun and relaxing, they are probably no more intelligent or gifted than you. By really rooting out one's negative core beliefs, one will radically boost one's confidence levels. One doesn't have to hide behind overly aggressive attitude or an adrenaline rush as a cheap substitute for real, relaxed confidence.
As stated already, and on the Romance page, people tend to like those who are confident and who believe in themselves. This is why one often notices that one gets more romantic and sexual interest when one is already dating than when one is single and is actually after this interest (the old syndrome of waiting for a bus for hours, then two come along at the same time!) This natural self-confidence spreads like a virus and makes others feel good about themselves. Those who are natural 'followers', i.e. those with low self-esteem, will tend to flock around such people like bees to honey quite often (if they have charisma and are polite!) Some people let this go to their head and like to be the 'funny one' or the 'centre of attention'. But that is not what we are talking about here. We are talking about self-confidence with humility and charisma, i.e. being one's true self, and not self-deceit and arrogance. Arrogance and self-deceit can be one's worst enemy, even worse than self-hatred or lack of self-confidence and indecision. No one likes arrogance (except to laugh at the person) or lack of self-confidence. Lack of self-confidence and being trapped in lower levels of consciousness (e.g. security and safety rather than being in higher levels of self-actualisation and self-expression) is a turn off for many people and indeed makes people feel uneasy. For example, if one doesn't trust oneself, then why should anyone else trust you?One can be lacking in confidence for many reaons, either lack of self-esteem and self-love, or because one is a fraud or trying to pull the wool over someone's eyes. People cannot always tell the difference, hence the bad reception a lack of confidence often receives. It does not put someone at ease. No one likes to buy from an uneasy sales person.
From the movie 'Once Upon a Time in the West':
'How can I trust a man who wears both a belt and suspenders [braces]? He don't even trust his own pants.'
An exercise one might like to try is to set aside a period of time during the day, for example, your journey to work, where you try to be detached and observe your surroundings in a calm and cool manner. Where your conscious mind tries to judge, look down on something or someone, find someone or something amusing, find someone or something annoying or stressful, try to let go of this way of focussing and addictively getting involved, and just observe in a detached manner. It may require you to stop yourself and then detach repeatedly, but with practice it will come naturally! After all, a controlling conscious mind is just a bad habit, something that you've learnt to do.
The removal of long term, negative core beliefs (about self or world) can be a hugely emotional experience. It can feel like a huge weight has been lifted off your chest. This may be a result of an NLP/NAC technique or religious conversion. Anything that has enough power to prize out those deep rooted negative beliefs. Negative beliefs usually are present like the layers of an onion. Whilst you may well 'peel off' most layers of the onion, you will rarely remove all layers in one go. So whilst any 'unchaining' may feel very releasing, rarely does one ever release everything. Some negative beliefs will inevitably remain, perhaps only small seeds, that if left unchecked grow larger and affect other areas of your core beliefs. If you don't have confidence in certain areas of your life, and focus and certainty in all areas, then you will not feel the FULL weight off your shoulders ever! A good massage etc. feels very liberating for example, but you'll be back for another later! The causes of that shoulder tension (physical and mental) are still there and keep creating that physical tension.
How easy it is to release that 'weight off your shoulders' depends on how chained up or confused, how much you hate yourself, and how twisted and knotted up your internal energy is to start with. As much as we think we are honest with ourselves, and liberated in what you think is your core philosophy, there is always 'stuff' in there, negative beliefs and self-hatred and self-doubt that totally conflict with what we think are our core beliefs but sit there happily and interfere without us being aware they are there. That is what BlackSpy sees as 'negativity' or 'evil' or whatever you want to call it. This type of 'garbage' inside our subconscious and inevitably nervous system will influence our behaviour, on a conscious and unconscious level, and manifest itself in the odd moment of dubious behaviour, and in extreme cases 'sick actions'. BlackSpy also sees toxins in the body as a form of 'evil', and by this definition, the lack of awareness or care about the effects of drugs (recreational and also certain medications), modern consumer diets, and the food industry as 'evil' or 'irresponsible'. It is giving us the choice to be healthy or to kill us, that's the free market and democracy. Education is clearly important, and this is what is driving this web site and many others to share information with the general population, to empower them to make them our informed choices. If people still want to abuse themselves physically, mentally or spiritually after learning the 'truth', then this is their business and their choice, as long as they 'don't impose this on anyone else' or influence anyone else which may not be the intention but is almost always inevitably the case.
There are an infinite number of permutations of negative beliefs that a person can instill into his mind. When one is younger, this might even include the belief that one does not believe that one will ever grow up and become an adult, as life seems to pass by so slowly, and that one will stay a kid forever. This may result from various other negative beliefs that instill a low self-esteem, for example, adults chipping away at one's sense of significance and importance etc., being made to feel a 'nobody' because you are 'just a kid'. Having this view may result in a disconnected and passive approach to life, not really connecting one's view of one's future self with the present, and the path in between. There are many others to end up feeling disconnected, whereby one's perception and beliefs at a younger age are completely divorced from those one currently holds, and one cannot see the path or connection from having been the way one was before to being how one is now. In this way, one's dreams and goals when younger can be completely forgotten or blanked out, and one can lose touch with oneself and one's genuine desires. It is as if one is looking at different people, and one has no recollection of when one began one's current life or consciousness. This often occurs with drug use and depression.
Role playing is a useful personal development tool, not only for practising your communication and influence skills, but also to re-enact painful situations where you feel pressured, uncomfortable and unable to exact your will or desires. For example, it could be asking someone out for a date, or approaching someone who you wish to ask about something or to stop doing something you perceive as anti-social or threatening. Role playing can be fun and a great way to explore your own personality and your negative beliefs and limitations, and an avenue to overcome them. Most people never engage in any forms of role play unless their boss or instructor tells them to do so. Why wait for such rare occasions? Why not do a little role play every week or every day! With a friend or partner. You can volunteer scenarios or let your friend pick one for you. You can change places and see how the other person deals it with. It can be a form of entertainment or escapism as well, in the way some people love to play RPGs on line or dungeons and dragons. Why not! It doesn't cost anything! Being shy is just a form of fear of self-expression.
One should consider the language one speaks and one's accent and the intonation one uses in day to day speech and how this effects how one feels about oneself and various activities one may participate in. Often it is not the word we hear and the literal meaning of that word, in terms of its dictionary definition, but the emotions, feelings and images associated with the sound of that word. Depending on who says the word, how it is said, and what language is used, we may have vastly different feelings about the person, object or activity. BlackSpy has himself noticed this when saying a word in either English or Swedish, and has radically different feelings about the 'same thing' depending on which language is used. This is not 'logical' but then the human mind is not as rational as we believe it to be. Most of what we react to and how we feel is not based on our empirical logic that we believe should govern our feelings and behaviour. Those who are aware of this principle use their voice to create positive and empowering association and meaning in their own lives, e.g. motivational speakers, even if to some people they sound 'ridiculous'. Who cares! If they are getting the result they want and making people feel good about things they otherwise felt 'bummed out' about, then that transformational modality is surely something to treasure and nuture. If you prefer one language to another, in terms of the way it makes you feel or focus, then use it in preference to another. Or consider emigrating. Or changing your circle of friends!
BlackSpy would describe a cult as a group of people, club, society, organisation or company that conditions, manipulates and brainwashes people into non-mainstream views (to make their leaders feel better about themselves). Which gives people half truth and does not tell the truth. Which has a powerful leader or central figure who all members aspire to be. Who condition members or attendees to hold the same world view for the benefit of the continuation of the cult. Who often use their control, bullying or influence over members to extract sums of money. And who make it difficult to leave. Examples include The Branch Davidians, Children of God, The Church of Scientology and The Church of Christ. Clearly some groups are more clearly 'cults' than others, but many groups display cultish characteristics. Not cult ever admits to being a cult. Clearly cults must have some redeeming features or attractive aspects or no one would join them to start with.
It could be argued that by writing about and exposing cults in general, that one is doing them a favour by focussing everyone's attention on them and providing free advertising, which is not of course what one wants to achieve. If you focus on a person in this way, what may often happen is that rather than question them, you may actually give them significance, and perpetuate their power over people and fear amongst people (which gives them power). And for victims of such cults, focussing on them and continually reminding oneself of them can be extremely negative and prevent closure. This is the trouble with the conspirazoid movement, it perpetuates notions of governments being all powerful, and makes readers of these theories feel helpless and disempowered, which is supposedly the opposite of what they intend to achieve. Whether the actual theories in question are true or not is an entirely different matter! If these cultish people were just ignored and not mentioned, and therefore not talked about, then it might be better for everyone. But where such people are widely praised, or have a powerful influence on a local community or society as a whole, then perhaps it is one's duty to inform others of both sides of the story. Please read the Cults page for further information.
Just think for a moment about what makes you who you are. Many people spend much of their lives trying to change the outside, their place in the world and their appearance and projected image amongst peers - but often do not consciously make much effort to change the inside. To grow the inside. This usually happens through 'life experience' and by 'accident'. By being at the mercy of one's own mind rather than working with the mind. Why is this? We spend a great deal of time examining the outside world and acquiring status, goods and possessions and identifying with the outside. But we may spend very little time being totally honest with ourselves and studying the inside and looking to improve it.
You are not your job. You are not your finances and wealth. You are not your house. You are not the area you live in. You are not your watch or your car. You are not your work associates. You are not your friends. Try to separate yourself from these things and feel what makes you 'YOU'. Gain your identity and sense of self-worth from these things and not from the above external concepts and possessions. It is easy to become wrapped up in the above and base your happiness and feelings on the day to day performance of these things. Do not try to make yourself fit these things. You should make your surroundings fit you, in the sense that those things that can be sought out can be. You cannot change the unchangeable, but you can certainly take your 'business' elsewhere! Ask yourself if you are where you want to be. If you are not, then look at some of the above and think about how you can change them. Do not settle for second best. It is easy to let life take you to a certain place if you let it. Try to be the driving force in your life. If you are not making the right decisions or any decisions, then you are deciding not to decide, and someone else is making the decisions for you. It is easy to end up in a job or situation you don't particularly like, just by taking the first thing or opportunity that comes along, or being fearful for going for what you want, and being too 'sensible'.
The article below shows a number of somewhat amusing examples of fearful, herd and even inhumane behaviour by people on account of their patterns of focus and belief, the sense of deferral of responsiblity in modern 'civilised' society.
As a general comment on the principles described in this Psychology and Philosophy section, and indeed one which applies to the Health section also, whilst not being in control of your emotions, and feeling depressed, stressed, fearful, angry or unsatisfied much of the time is clearly not enjoyable or fulfilling on an emotional and spiritual level, it could actually be considered a good thing to feel like this! We are glad the brain works the way it does, and that we have gotten ourselves into this far from ideal position! And why is this you may well ask?! Well, it simply means that the very same principles that govern your current mental state, keeping things harsh or imbalanced, are the very same principles and 'rules' that ensure that when you work with these principles you can grow emotionally and align your thoughts and beliefs more towards your true self and what you really want, to empower you and to make you feel better, with the ultimate goal of feeling outstanding and empowered, with that feeling of infinite potential, wonder and possibilities, on some level, all the time. These principles, when used to your advantage, will ensure you don't slide back down to the bottom of the emotional ladder every time one little bad thing happens or every time you have a negative thought. The principles give the good and higher a meaning and significance. They also show what can happen if you abuse them or ignore them and pretend they do not apply to you. Easy relief and instant happiness, if one could somehow magically bypass these principles and the way the mind works, would be a shallow victory and have little meaning. They would not seem a great prize at all and would soon become boring or not have any solid foundation or stability. The same rules that when ignored allow you to totally screw up your life at one point or other, when recognised and used to your advantage/worked with also allow you to reach the heights of existence. Respect the principles and 'rules', don't abuse them and don't get 'played' by them. If you ignore them, and don't bother trying to be a good judge of character or put others before yourself all the time (based on low self-esteem and negative beliefs etc.), for example, you may be lucky and get away with it, but in all likelihood you may end up in destructive relationships and a bad situation(s). However, these are all things you can 'undo' to a large extent with more appreciation of what is going on.
Lyrics from Black Flag's song 'Rise Above':
'Jealous cowards try to control
Rise above
We're gonna rise above
They distort what we say
Rise above
We're gonna rise above
Try and stop what we do
Rise above
When they can't do it themselves
We are tired of your abuse
Try to stop us it's no use
Society's arms of control
Rise above
We're gonna rise above
Think they're smart
Can't think for themselves
Rise above
We're gonna rise above
Laugh at us
Behind our backs
I find satisfaction
In what they lack
We are tired of your abuse
Try to stop us it's no use
We are born with a chance
Rise above
We're gonna rise above
I am gonna have my chance
Rise above
We're gonna rise above
We are tired of your abuse
Try to stop us it's no use
Our dreams usually occur during REM sleep, which is the shallowest and usually last phase of our sleep. Dreams are a direct window to our subscious mind, and dreaming can be an opportunity for the subsconscious mind to communicate information back to our conscious mind, and for our conscious mind to sort through and organise recent memories and experiences.
Many of us may experience 'anxiety dreams' where we find ourselves in a stressful situation. These stresses or situations are often reflective of fears, limiting beliefs and behaviour, resentment or deficits in our personality and often manifest themselves in such dreams. It should be obvious from the dream what its meaning is, if it is an anxiety dream. Examples of anxiety dreams may include: escaping from a threat; worrying about the safety of your physical body (e.g. your teeth); finding yourself naked in a workplace or classroom at the start of the day; going along with something or someone you don't like and being a 'yes' man; falling into oblivion; being attacked and perhaps having to stab your attacker to death violently with a knife (often there being nothing between fear and the stabbing - no assertiveness or confidence); being unprepared for an activity or examination, etc.
A rough guide to anxiety dreams in increasing order of psychological balance:
- where one is attacked, dominated, bullied, taken advantage of or otherwise humiliated but one does nothing to stop it.
- any of the above, but where one is still feeling threatened and scared but acts in an extreme manner in order to stop it.
- where one fails at a task or cannot complete it because one has preparation problems.
- where one is successful in performing whatever fun or other task one wanted to do, with no problems or confidence or self-belief issues.
- where someone is thinking about attacking, dominating, bullying, taking advantage of or otherwise humiliating us, but we are calm, collected and confident and handle the situation, assert ourselves and ensure our self-respect, and the situation results in a successful outcome and the above potential scenarios never actually happen in the first place (i.e. no sign is present over your head saying 'I am a mug, please tread on me').
Articles examining the meaning of anxiety dreams are listed below.
Our dreams can therefore be useful tools in personal development. When we find ourselves in an unpleasant or disempowering situation in a dream, it is often a form of challenge from the subconscious mind, asking the conscious mind if it wishes to still repeat the fearful or otherwise behaviour or beliefs that we don't want but always end up following or enacting. Such an anxiety dream or nightmare is an opportunity to break the pattern and take control and change the behaviour. To say 'Hold on! Stop! I'm not going through this all over again! I'm going to try something different'. Try to work your way down the list above, so each time you have such a dream you make a slight effort to make it less humiliating, so that eventually you end up at the desired psychological outcome. If you are able to go straight to the bottom of the list instantly, then great! Do it!
So rather than just watch yourself repeat the behaviour and pattern that we do not like, as if we were watching a movie of ourselves, we can instead be the central character in the dream. This may follow the format of a lucid dream, where we feel full self-consciousness within the dream, and can choose anything at any moment...like being free in the dream; or it may take the form of semi-lucidity, which is watching the movie, but being able to select choices, as one would in a role playing game, at certain points, when one forces one's way back into the central role for fleeting moments where we feel it is important to do so and make a choice. Sometimes in such dreams we can say 'stop' when we find ourselves repeating a fearful state or submissive form of behaviour and rewind the scene and replay it out by the way we want it to transpire. This can actually be extremely amusing as well.
Alternatively, if you are not able to break out of the self-deprecating pattern of thinking in your dream, then upon waking, you could make the most of the fact that you are still somewhat in the Theta brainwave mind state, and carry on the dream where you left off, but this time with your full consciousness (awake) and full sense of self and either carry on the dream in a direction that you would have liked, e.g. using it to create a sense of confidence, to take bold action or to have a good time - in other words, to turn the tone of the whole dream around into a positive and empowering experience. As mention above, another take on this is to think back to the decision point in the dream where the situation could have gone a different way and make the positive or confident decision instead, and get your way in the dream or achieve the desired outcome where you are treated with respect but also perhaps have a wild time. You could do the same with any dream in fact, to carry on a positive dream and simply roll with it upon awakening for a while to have a little escapist and character-developing fun and creative fantasy. Why not? It doesn't cost anything.
Pleasurable dreams can be very empowering and a way of connecting ourselves to our core positive beliefs and our true selves, free from anxiety, fear and self-loathing. Many of us experience the odd lucid dream, every blue moon as it were, but very few of us experience these regularly. Some consider this state to be like embarking on a fantasy adventure, like watching your favourite movie, but with you in the starring role. In lucid dreaming, one can simply call upon a certain situation, scenario or place, or specific people, and enact out any scenario we like. It may be boring to turn everything to your will, so the fun is in sponteneity, to choose the initial situation, but let it run its own course, but ensuring that you make the choices that are right for you and the values you aspire to during this fluid narrative.
Dreams often create our waking reality or have a large influence on it, much as our waking reality and relationship with our subconscious affects our dreams. BlackSpy had two dreams one night on this theme. He had gone to bed feeling positive and energised. In the first dream, he overdid it and was feeling exhausted. He believed he was exhausted in the dream. He woke up and felt absolutely exhausted! In the second dream he was having heart problems and was on the operating table. When he woke up he was having chest pains and palpitations! It could be that his actual physical state created the themes of these dreams. However, given that he had gone to bed feeling quite well, it would seem the more probable that it was created out of belief (in the dream state). Either way, one can see that using our dreams to work on our beliefs and handling of (dream) life in general has a profound effect on our self-beliefs in our subconscious and thus our waking reality.
It is said that keeping a dream diary is useful as we can refer back to interesting or creative dreams, and indeed reflect upon what happened in a dream, why and how we could have experienced it differently if it happened again. It is also reputed to enable one to increase one's level of self-consciousness within a dream. If one is to record one's dreams, it is best to do so immediately after you wake up as one quickly leaves that part of one's mind with access to the subconscious upon waking and one can quickly forget what one was indeed dreaming about within minutes; or at least most of the details. Keeping a notepad and pen next to your bed is a wise idea. This way you can record your dreams and also make a note of anything that you think of or is playing on your mind whilst you are trying to get to sleep. If you are a little neurotic in this manner, which BlackSpy has been, you can write whatever it is down and then forget about it (or allow yourself to forget about it) - you can always give yourself permission to forget about it anyway, and trust yourself enough that you will remember it in the morning. Or perhaps that it really isn't that important if you only think of it in bed, and just forget it!
This section ties into the following section, on Spiritual Beliefs. Please read this section before continuing on to read about Spiritual Beliefs, as there is some overlap.
Ego can be viewed as the animal instinct. A form of basic self-defence mechanism which is controlled by the conscious mind. The more of a slave to one's ego one is, the more animalistic (survival orientated) one tends to be in one's actions. Let us consider the different levels of consciousness and how they interrelate. Clearly few people remain on one level of consciousness all the time, and may alternate between a number of levels depending on the situation and focus/belief system around it. If one were to put consciousness in a hierarchy, as David Hawkins has (with a somewhat arbitrary scale), then one would put negative emotions at the bottom, such as fear, revenge and hatred (and also fear). These are the most 'ego' and 'animal' states of mind. They involve fight or flight responses to situations, rebelliousness, stress, territorial disputes, the desire to kill in an argument (could be correlated to two male animals fighting over territory or a female, or two gangs of dolphins attacking and killing each other for example), gang violence etc.
Above these lower levels are desire and jealousy. For example, living one's life according to fun alone, materialism, selfishness, hedonism, casual sex, rave culture, drug abuse, jealousy of one's partner or neighbour (his more expensive model, his greater success or better looking girlfriend, etc), Satanism (also including desire for revenge if anyone messes with you), other hedonistic philosophies etc.
Above these levels come states of mind and values such as integrity. Above this is the level of rationalism and logic, i.e. academia, common sense. Clearly, even those academics who believe rationalism, knowledge and science are the highest goal, are they logical in EVERY area of their lives. Or are they subject to higher or lower states of mind? There is a saying that intelligence and common sense do not always go hand in hand. One may well be academically gifted but be hopeless in organising one's personal life and making rational relationship decisions and in looking after oneself. Higher up the scale of consciousness we have conditional love, such as that a mother has for her baby, or in a relationship. But relying on a partner for one's happiness is never a sound strategy, as your source of happiness is not always reliable and can be taken away as easily as it is 'given'.
Above conditional love then is unconditional love, the appreciation of life and the willingness to be loving in every situation, even the most 'irritating', awkward situation which tries to trigger your negative beliefs into making you offended.
Above unconditional love are higher still levels of consciousness, such as bliss and nirvana. The power of each level of consciousness increases the higher one climbs in a given situation, where a higher mind such as an inspirational leader or prophet may influence and inspire an entire population.
Other emotional states that slot into the heirarchy (somewhere nearer the upper half) include peace, tranquility, feelings of relaxation, positive excitement, positive energy, happiness, contentment, wisdom etc.
The numbers of people who residually reside at a certain level become fewer and fewer the higher one goes up the hierarchy. Clearly people do not spend their whole time residing on their maximum level of consciousness, and may indeed revisit lower levels, and drag themselves back up again. Some spend more time at lower levels than others, only experiencing brief glimpses of higher levels. Others spend most of their time at their personal maximum level, only occasionally drifting down. It could be argued that to experience balance one needs to 'revisit' some aspects of some of the lower levels to varying extents and degrees. Indeed, this may well occur without trying, and often some of the more negative aspects of the lower levels; but it ultimately depends on what you want to achieve. Clearly, the emotions that one experiences in the course of a day may well cover a broad range, and if we are honest with ourselves we may well surprise ourselves, and often not pleasantly! How you use and harness these emotions, what beliefs you engage to harness these emotions, what actions result, how you convert/evolve one emotion into another (to gain some positive energy from them), and what beliefs you decide to create, are clearly up to the individual and greatly affect the path you take and ultimately what levels and emotions you spend much of your time in/on. Lower levels of consciousness according to some are associated with a lower level of energetic vibration and the higher the level of conciousness the higher the level of vibration. Vibration level is equated by some to be equivalent to the body's health and strength of the immune system etc.
When one enters into an negotation with another party, it is helpful to think of what level of consciousness the other person is at compared to yours to see if you are both really talking the same language. For example, if you are very rational, you may not get very far in trying to take delivery of goods from a criminal or hustler on credit (send me an invoice!) Equally, Neville Chamberlain did have in his hand a piece of paper when he signed a peace treaty with Adolf Hitler, but it meant nothing to Hitler as he was not on the rational level of consciousness and couldn't be expected to play by the rules. It is often why peace settlements are hard to stick for example in Palestine and the surrounding Middle East as both parties are obsessed with revenge and hatred, and the facilitator is trying to keep discussion on a rational an unemotional level. Lastly, do not confuse 'spiritual' development (the art of happiness and bliss) with the 'astral' (or talking/interacting with spirits - if you are into/belief in this kind of thing!) The spiritual domain has nothing to do with the astral. Astral comprises higher (celestial - talking to 'angels'), middle and lower (demonic power, evil spirits, new age etc.) Are you able to tell the difference between these levels (if they exist that is)? It is not unheard of for people to claim to be one thing and to actually be another (just look at politicians, dictators, doctors even etc.) so it is not improbable that this is the same in the astral domain also.
An example of ego in a fearful context is the way that one's body physically reacts to a perceived threat. For example, if one is undergoing an osteopathy session, and the practitioner is twisting your torso slightly prior to perform a manipulation (of the lower back and pelvic area for example), it is easy to become fearful and allow the body to tense up, in an attempt to 'defend' itself. However, if one consciously works to try to relax those areas, the ego is disengaged and the manipulation can be carried out correctly without injuring the patient! Which might otherwise occur if the person resisted. The same principle applies in martial arts, when one is engaging in a drill or sparring. If one stiffens up, it is a defensive reaction, but negates one's ability to stay relaxed, respond and to react and observe what is actually going on. If you do this, you may get hurt or get hit!
The concept the relationship between one's ego and one's consciousness is a complex one. It is something that religions and philosophers have been struggling with for thousands of years. To totally embrace the ego in its entirety without exercising any control over it would be unwise - this would result in the consciousness becoming a passenger to the ego, with the ego seeking to control the whole of conscious experience, taking the credit for it and seeking to reinforce its position. Nor woud it be so wise to try to regard the ego as 'evil' and to try to completely suppress it in all activities and areas of life. The ego is our body's evolutionary natural defence mechanism, allowing us to interact with the world and function. However, it often allowed to exist in a manner at the detriment of our innate consciousness and ability to 'feel'. The ego is in many ways a left brain entity and is to a large extent a conditioned psychological response.
To what extent should one embrace the ego, and to what extent should one try to suppress it or shut it up? These are tough questions. By following our desires in all things we may find it difficult to develop any sense of self-discipline, and it may be impossible to cultivate any stillness of mind. By entertaining our ego at all times, we may not be able to silence the constant stream of 'desires (for pleasure and/or power), fears, stress, guilt, judgements, analysis, self-loathing, self-criticism, rationalising, attempts to control, attempts to take credit' nor to trust our instincts and truly feel, in the consciousness sense, without the intervention and controlling actions of the ego. By calming the ego, it is possible to achieve greater stillness and a sense of inner peace. This is something that many Eastern religions and philosophies have attempted to address, including Hinduism, Buddhism and Taoism, e.g. stillness through 'no mind'. Some religions may conceptually give some advice on the ego, but may not really assist in actual practical methods of calming the ego and the mind, but rather just rely on 'faith' to achieve this, e.g. Christianity. Whilst this may work with some people, with others, it may not, and the ego may continue with many of its ridiculous activities and in addition get involved in judgements, guilt and rationalising of one's spiritual experience and that of others, rather than allowing the mind to be clear and calm. In the latter case it may end up with trying to excessively rely on rational concepts of the 'rules' and what you should be doing and what others 'should' be doing, and disappointing and upsetting your ego when you don't get things the way your ego was expecting. This is not generally a very fulfilling way to live one's life. The ego may have merely shifted its pattern of control from one area to another (before and after conversion), and still be an obstacle in your spiritual life.
There are clearly many ways of exploring the senses to the full and to be fully in tune with one's body and experiences. There are different ways of engaging the ego in these activities. One may enter into activities with 'no mind', i.e. with the ego not engaged, but relying on one's instincts and trusting one's subsconscious and neurological system to just get on with it (rather than trying to control it through the ego and through 'rationalisation'). Many sports people find this the way to achieve the best results and if they 'try' too hard (i.e. excessive ego control) they often perform much worse. In this state of mind one may often lose one's perception of time. One may alternatively choose to enter into an experience of sensation from the perspective of titillating the ego (or rather titillating a set of beliefs and values, perhaps of a perverse or reactionary nature), where the ego may be in control of the experience; Or one may choose to enter into an experience in a more balanced manner, engaging the ego to an extent, and engaging and referring to various positive beliefs and pieces of technical information but not try to gain any sense of power, but also trusting one's consciousness and instincts (not reverting to too much personal criticism regarding mistakes and performance), feeling calm minded and free, at the same time - the exact nature of the balance of this mode of experience may indeed vary and change, like a yo-yo, during an experience - one may achieve a good balance for a while, and then totally lose it later on - it clearly varies moment to moment and individual to individual. Lastly one may try to enter into an experience trying to control everything and not trusting one's instincts or innate ability to do something, whereby one will probably not feel anything or be aware of what happened at all as one was too busy rationalising it and trying to get as much from it as possible (ironically getting the least from the experience!)
One may argue whether excessive titillating of the ego (and certain negative beliefs and world/global views) in the way we sense and experience things is healthy and to what extent it results in reinforcing the ego's dominant position and certain negative beliefs. This is up to the individual to figure out, but if one is not prepared to experience sensation in other ways (at all or enough), then one may well be fooling oneself about the nature of experience and ultimately about one's innate consciousness.
There is clearly a time and a place for different approaches, for example, different points in learning a new technique, or day to day routine experience which does not require any rationalisation and which one may benefit from trying to connect more with one's surroundings and not going around on 'auto-pilot' and missing everything. There is a time and place to indulge oneself in an activity, enjoy the playfulness, chaos and sense of euphoria, be carefree and irresponsible; and there are times to be responsible; and also times to help and assist others. Just how one goes about this is up to the individual.
Click here to read about the ego and the left hand path (e.g. LaVey Satanism).
It can be observed in some individuals with low self esteem in some areas, that they may overcompensate in other areas in order to create 'balance'. For example, one may be naive or lacking in confidence in multiple areas in one's life, and ideally one should really attempt to address these areas in order to grow and to be 'free' or more oneself and who one was born to be. However, instead, the conscious mind may seek to make up for this slight feeling of inadequacy by strengthening positive beliefs in other areas that do not require so much or any significant 'work' - to the point of becoming perhaps arrogant or conceited. This is however compartmentalised and unlikely to overflow into other areas, so the large areas of low self-esteem remain. If anything, the ego enlargement in certain areas only seeks to appease one's longings for balance and fool oneself, sapping one's desire to really be honest about one's deficiencies and to work towards building up one's confidence in these areas. It is a little like chewing on a piece of chocolate to distract you from the cut on your leg! A principle parents may use with children.
Choices and Conditioning:
It is said that the choices one makes in life result in who we are. If we make decisions whilst in a peak state, as discussed on the Focus page, then we will most likely make better and more empowering decisions for us. We will be more ourselves during the decision making process and be more likely to make a choice that will allow us to continue to be ourselves or express ourselves more truly in various avenues in life. Or avoid making a 'cock up'!
Below we shall briefly examine how some of the above areas of influence, both external and internal, mould our perceptions, and influence our focus and core beliefs and hence our state of mind, choices and actions. These circles of influence are categorised in the following manner. These are broadly based on the definitions in the book 'Fringe Knowledge for Beginners' by Montalk, chapter 16, 'Battle of Opposites' (see the Links page for more information). Some parts of this book may be a little 'New Age', and the concepts have been presented below and applied to some more real world examples.
Negative External Resistance
These are external influences that 'seek' to interfere with an individual's attempts to make or contemplate positive forms of progress; to attack a person's sense of positive or empowering certainty and attempts to undermine one's confidence. They may be messages (often irrational criticisms of your choices) designed to instill fear and doubt (e.g. a parent, teacher or peer telling you that you will never be good at something or not to consider a certain choice or move as it is pointless or stupid etc., citing examples of those who have failed at that same thing, etc.); nasty or evil glares, disapproving looks; or at other times a distraction or diversion (e.g. being asked 'you want to go to the pub?' whilst you are trying to study), or released bursts of frustration (usually in the form of put downs) from others around us; or even forceful opposition to your actions. At the end of the day, negative external resistance are empty threats and optional obligations, illusions that only have meaning and carry weight if you believe in them and give them signficance or focus on them. Pandering to them eats away at your confidence, stops you making an empowering choice. They appeal to one's ignorance, fear, insecurity, shame and low self-esteem.
Positive External Resistance
These are external influences that are warnings or warning signs, or even the outright blocking of choices or courses of action that are dangerous or harmful to you. Warning signs are there to expand your understanding of a situation and increase your awareness of the hidden dangers and consequences, to avoid 'reckless' actions that result in getting 'bitten'. Warning signs may of course be just your own observation of your surroundings, e.g. loose surfaces or pot holes in the road whilst driving; signs that suggest possible mechanical failure. Explicit warnings include warning signs like 'warning: wet floor'. Unlike negative external resistance, these signs usually require a clear mind to figure out and usually result in a delay to one's plans. Failure to listen to positive external resistance or trying to force your way through it can result in an increase in mechanical failures, accidents and various health problems. Positive external resistance appeals to reason, discernment and intuition.
Negative External Encouragement
These are deceptive external influences, opportunities or messages that appeal to your lower levels of consciousness or primal desires, your weakness, ignorance, wishful thinking or greed, i.e. your ego. These are pitfalls, traps and hooks to catch the weak of mind. We sometimes justify these choices because of a coincidence or what was 'meant to happen'. Examples include gambling, someone offering you drugs or a get rich quick scheme (an opportunity too good to be true, and it probably is!) or otherwise talking you into something that is in their interest and not in yours. Some argue that belief systems that offer quick results fall into this category, and whilst there may be a point here, it is a little harsh (as there may well be elements of truth in that belief system).
Positive External Encouragement
This is a form of positive confirmation when one has made a genuinely wise or empowering choice or decision to follow a course of positive action. It may be a genuine syncronicity or reinforcing of the principles that follow working with that course of positive action, a reaping of the rewards of that action that help to further reinforce it or positively influence other areas of your perception. They bring relief and lift your spirits, providing a feel good factor. Critical events fall into place to work with 'destiny'. Like attracts like and you may feel you are furthering yourself in your goal of self-expression and where you really want to be, and an investment in the long term as well. It is a form of self-perpetuating abundance, being 'in the zone'.
Negative Internal Resistance
This is in general terms addiction to negative thought patterns, beliefs and patterns of focus, and a habitual resistance to deviate from this pattern. This resistance generally stems from artificially lowered emotional states, layers of protective and defensive negative beliefs, and destructive patterns of focus and posthypnotic suggestions, that can result in futher rationalisation and reinforcement of these triggers and beliefs. They may be small nudges or thoughts that are spontaneously or casually acted upon, to preserve a pattern of behaviour when the brain can smell the possibility that we might try something else/other way of focussing, to preserve that negative addiction (that protective layer is highly insecure!) or strong complusions to resist a change (e.g. resulting in procrastination when a different opportunity is offered, e.g. approaching a girl - which you 'always' bottle out on! Making your next attempt to do this even harder!). Such negative internal resistance can be identified if one thinks about their consequence, as they clearly suppress emotional balance, freedom and clarity of thought. They may take the form of self-criticism (the ego), mental blocks, irrational hostility to an seemingly innocuous idea, fidgeting, anxiety, sweating, panic, thoughts interrupting a positive focus, being frozen to inaction when you need to act, giving in to feelings of fear (as watching the fearful situation pass by will make you feel comfortable again - a fear of leaving your comfort zone - based on disempowering beliefs and low self esteem), or mind fog when trying to contemplate a positive thought. BlackSpy experienced a severe form of mind fog just at the moment before he became a Christian in 1996, as a house mate was discussing the Holy Spirit. He could hear individual words but not perceive a sentence whatsoever. He had never experienced this before, and it went away after a minute, like a cloud was lifted. This is discussed in more detail on the CoS page in the Religion Other section. Whether such self-criticism or mind fog is of psychological or spiritual origin (or both) is a matter of personal belief and perception.
Positive Internal Resistance
This is where the lower self (ego) acts contrary to your higher consciousness or wisdom, manifested as feelings of indifference or caution towards an empowering or positive matter. Such a feeling is difficult to rationalise away and may require one to indulge the ego (one's lower impulses or desires) in some capacity to satisfy it so that it does not resist the higher consciousness' desire to move towards that action, decision or outcome. The ego's resistance manifests itself as an inner voice, a post-hypnotically triggered false 'gut' instinct signal (affecting upper body only rather than the belly or gut) or intuitive impression, as calm advice or urgent caution, but rarely spiteful criticism or threatening orders (as in Negative Internal Resistance). Positive internal resistance requires clarity of mind rationalisation to ignore rather than to believe. Believing it requires no mental or engagement. On the whole, it can be seen as the heart and mind resisting simultaneously.
Negative Internal Encouragement
This compels you towards ego-driven hasty, impulsive, harmful or distractive behaviour, for example, making false assumptions or acting on them, or pursuing materialistic or sexual fantasies. For example, it could be a desire for impulse purchases or a desire to have more of something (what you do have losing all meaning or value in that instant with the desired thing having all meaning in that instant.) These are the lower self's animal instincts and can reinforce certain negative beliefs to produce obsessive thinking, wishful thinking or prejudice. These may the result of habitual patterns of focus or one's hormonal and genetic programming or the ego's desire for preservation or significance. It may manifest itself as a pointless or irrational idea masquerading as a great idea (in that moment) or perhaps a strong desire to punish someone (e.g. to reprimand someone or send a 'snotty' email) or for violent action (e.g. a strong urge to beat someone up because they 'cut up you' on the road, i.e. road rage; or a desire to kill someone in the spur of the moment). Such negative internal encouragement can be easily identified by its impulsive, desperate and irrational nature. It must be fulfilled IMMEDIATELY and CANNOT WAIT. It may be accompanied by an increased heart rate, flushed face, raised blood pressure or tightening of the chest, and a decrease in your ability to rationalise.
Positive Internal Encouragement
This is what this page is talking about. These are positive beliefs, positive communication with the self or a sudden positive realisation. The heart, mind and soul love it. It makes you feel good. It may be in the form of positive, empowering statements about yourself, a situation or your environment, or it may be in the form of empowering types of questions. Some examples are given on the Dialogue with Self page. A truly good or empowering idea, will resonate on all levels and will deepen the breathing, provide a sense of certainty, a sense of relief and joy, motivation, a sense of purpose and above all patience (knowing that it is good and you will get yours). It sharpens and energises the mind, and engages your sense of curiosity, wonder and satisfaction. It is clearly distinguished from negative internal encouragement which is not positive in nature but often 'knee jerk' and requires immediate and desperate action. Positive internal encouragement is not desperate. It does not require rationalisation to hide an underlying lack of interest. It feels like a good idea.
Clearly distinguishing between the above may take some time, and some of the above you may well be already familiar with. Hard and fast categorisation is perhaps not necessary, but an intuitive understanding of what they are, how they operate, and what you want and don't want is however very useful and comes with time. It is clearly easier to hold ourselves and weigh ourselves down, and to let others drag us down, but it is harder to soar and reach new heights! If we can identify those weights that are holding us down then that is a good start! If we can learn to identify and pursue positive internal and external encouragement, then we can achieve much greater mental heights of joy, bliss, wisdom and self-awareness.
'Losing faith in what is a good idea' can be distinguished from 'Intuition finally emergy that it was a bad idea all along'. Both start with hope and are interrupted by discouragement. But losing faith in what is a good idea started out with excitement about how things are and is later overpowered by discouragement about what could be (i.e. what if - imaging speculative failure scenarios or fear/insecurity); whereas 'intuition emerging that it was a bad idea all along' starts with overconfidence and overenthusiastic fantasizing with regards to what could be (what if) and is eventually defeated by how things actually are (what is) - a rude awakening or a short sharp shock, e.g. drug taking.
'Indifference because of an absence of soul interest' can be distinguished from 'Programming to resist and turn away'. Both involve a lack of complete enthusiasm, but the first involves a lack of inner enthusiasm; whilst 'programming to resist and turn away' involves a considerable amount of enthusiasm but it is drowned out by negative thoughts and beliefs such as distracting failure scenarios and insecurity - and these negative thoughts can be overcome if one pays attention to one's inner enthusiasm and empowering beliefs in this area.
'Good idea that meets obstacles' can be distinguished from 'Obstacles that signify a bad idea'. Both scenarios involve goals that are being hindered. However, with a 'good idea that meets obstacles', the obstacles have no bearing on the validity of the idea (and bypassing the obstacle would be sensible); whereas 'obstacles that signify a bad idea', the obstacles do actually show that the idea is flawed, impractical and should be abandoned or changed/fine tuned.
'Resistance stemming from intuitively perceived danger' can be distinguished from 'Being programmed to resist out of fear'. Both involve the impression of danger and fear. However 'resistance stemming from intuitively perceived danger' involves a sense of urgency that heightens one's awareness and perception, and perception of the objective reality of the scenario precedes the fear. Our fear or perception of danger is based on intuition and gut instinct, and our awareness. 'Being programmed to resist out of fear' originates in fearful negative beliefs which adversely shape our perception by inducing symptoms of fear an panic. In other words fear precedes our perception of the objective reality of the scenario, and prevents heightened perception or indeed any real perception of the truth or reality by locking in our thoughts into irrational fear. The real danger may not even have been spotted indeed if there was any there at all! One should be able to tell if one has thought oneself into fear based on our known neuroses (that we should be honest with ourselves about) or if one has a wide enough calm awareness of the situation to perceive an intuitive potential threat based on gut instinct and wisdom. back to top
Behavioural Conditioning, Boundaries and Wisdom:
It may be that one is conditioned to restrict the way one feels and thinks, and that one feels that there are certain things you are not allowed or supposed to think or feel. This may be a result of the values you have adopted over the years, the beliefs from your class, peer group or culture, or indeed from your religious background or upbringing. Those thoughts or feelings that we deem undesirable or that we are scared to experience may indeed be those that focus too powerfully on the self or the ego; or perhaps they are just embodiments of our fears about self-expression or fears based upon our lack of self-confidence. Many of us may try to stay within our 'comfort zones' too much, and fear venturing outside them and expressing oneself in a socially undefined manner or even in a confidence, sexual and enthusiastic manner; depending on what our fears are and what our negative beliefs are. If you are exploring your spiritual experience and trying to grow as a person, you may well come across certain taboo areas or at least grey areas that you may skirt around and flirt with a little, but feel somehow uncomfortable actually immersing yourself in.
Clearly, the choice is the individual's as to where they want to go (psychologically/spiritually speaking), and what they consider to be 'positive' and 'good for breaking down barriers for personal growth', good for 'losing one's inhibitions'; and what areas one wants to avoid as it is 'spiritually damaging', 'morally wrong' or other such precepts (be they valid in one's eyes or entirely erroneous pieces of 'software' and 'brainwashing' instilled into one's mind. Clearly everyone has their boundaries, with respect to what is socially acceptable, morally or ethically acceptable, and we apply rules to ourselves to avoid certain behaviours that result in guilt for whatever reason (e.g. harming others, stealing others, being excessively selfish etc.) Do these boundaries derive from sociological and religious conditioning? Or are they really our own? Or do they come from life experience and wisdom? If we have 'boundaries' or an understanding about various situations and emotions and the pros and cons attached to them, what is our attitude towards that boundary?
It could be that we avoid these behaviours simply because we do not enjoy them - they are not worth it - but equally it could be that we feel that we have to stay well over the other side of the fence from them, as far away from the actual fence as possible, in order to feel 'comfortable' and 'morally clean' or to feel good about ourselves. It depends where we derive our self-esteem from and what our core beliefs and values are, about ourselves and our relationship to the outside world.
Where do these values come from? Social conditioning? Cultural conditioning? Religious conditioning? At what point are you 'liberated', 'illuminated' and 'free of hypocrisy' and at what point are you 'totally immoral' or 'evil'? At what point are you 'enlightened', 'moral' and/or 'professional' and what point are you 'trapped by your own conditioning, never to experience your true nature' or a 'slave/monkey/robot living out a life according to a rule book and set of expectations/predictable behaviours that may indeed be totally arbitrary'? Or 'plain boring'? Do you truly appreciate what you have and are you really present in the room? Or do we only see your programming and trapped consciousness, trapped by either conditioning or ego or fear/emotional repression? What is 'good self-conditioning' and what is 'bad-self conditioning'? Do you really know what you are trying to achieve with personal development and 'positive conditioning'? Do you understand your goal? Or is the journey the most important thing?
Are these values you hold/are guided by really worth having, or at least embracing 100% of the time, rather than viewing each situation on its own merits? Clearly adopting a fixed stance on something 100% of the time may be an embodiment of that belief system rather than ourselves. It is a little like putting on a belief system that you are supposed to live within, that is supposed to reflect 'you' or the 'way you should be' - except that it doesn't! This is why many teenagers are conflicted and torture themselves, as in the void of self-knowledge, feel the need to adopt a set of belief-systems about the world that 'makes sense of it' and answers the 'wrongs'.
Some argue that unless you actually allow yourself to go somewhere (psychologically/spiritually) and explore it, on some level, you will never know whether you were simply hiding from it, and secretly liked it, or whether you were just avoiding something because you know it won't feel good and it is 'wrong' or 'inappropriate' or results in a severely negative consequence. Do you know what it feels like? You may not need to necessarily immerse yourself in the fullness of that action or experience in the literal sense, but merely contemplate it, view others in that situation or to use your empathy.
Is indulging or experimenting in this manner going to move you to a different place where you lose perspective? Or can you step back to your original vantage point and objectively review the experience, the emotions you felt, and your relationship to your conscious mind, ego and spirituality or to God? Or is that sense now lost/changed? In a good way or bad way? If you can be easily swayed or have your interests or personality radically changed depending on the company you keep or some immersion into a given spiritual practice or philosophy, does this reflect badly on your lack of self-knowledge and self-esteem? Is it a clueless act of searching moving from one thing to the next, but 'forgetting' everything you learnt/thought in each phase, as if each were compartmentalised; and really not achieving any real personal growth or self-knowledge or maturity at all (this is one aspect of the condition known as Schizotypal Personality Disorder, which is discussed further down)? Or is it an evolution, learning from and building on all that you have experienced in the past, to acquire a non-dogmatic form of wisdom based on direct experience, acknowledge of both sides of every experience (to varying degrees), building on true belief and knowledge and not fear, rather than just rejecting it in a knee-jerk manner and going from one extreme to another, adopting someone/something else's set of beliefs that don't quite fit you or only describe part of you, in an unbalanced manner, denying any positive aspect of the previous experience and through denial, not truly being able to move on (and to continue to be tortured by the negative aspects of the previous experience)?
If you went through a painful experience or phase of your life, and you have managed to break that cycle of negative behaviour, psychological addiction or thought pattern, then you can choose to do the opposite and compartmentalise the experience, and the only thing you might learn from it is that doing it is 'not a good idea' and you may avoid people who still do this or want to do this. Alternatively, you can be honest with yourself about what it was that you got out of that negative lifestyle; what fundamental human needs were met by it, what needs you were trying to meet but weren't; what needs you were failing to meet and how you were 'trapping yourself' by this addictive pattern of thought and behaviour; and what negative beliefs and what pattern of focus perpetuated this behaviour for so long. By looking at what sides of your character that were allowed to express themselves, even if it was at the expense of many other needs and characteristics, then you must look to find other ways to fulfill those needs and to express those sides of your character. For example, if you are getting over many years of having been psychologically dependent on a particular recreational drug or drugs, then but simply avoiding contact with anyone who is into drugs and denying your spontaneous side and becoming a controlling person, you are probably neglecting the wild, crazy and spontaneous side of your character, and may become 'boring' in some people's eyes. It is often debated what a person's needs actually are, and some adherents of the LHP may deny that any form of altruism is a need. For some, acts of selflessness are a fundamental need for higher levels of self-actualisation (perhaps this is why some Freemasons are often involved in charity work), whilst for others are a character flaw. One could argue how sincere one actually is if one is simply seeking to fulfill a human need rather than genuinely be altruistic! One has to be aware of those needs that you are currently meeting, through your lifestyle, thoughts or activities, and what needs you aren't meeting. It is easy to focus on what you aren't fulfilling and not acknoledge what you are fulfilling (which is often just as important or essential for your wellbeing). Please see the Left-Hand Path and Right-Hand Path page for related discussion.
By trying to distance yourself so far from this 'scene', and all it's 'encoutrements' including music and attitude, you may be suppressing part of your nature. You can keep hold of the few liberating, positive characteristics, beliefs or behaviours and reject all the negative ones that resulted in your depression/addiction/etc. You dont' need to reject the whole lot! Clearly part of you thought it was a good idea at the time, so there must have been something going for it (even if many negative aspects became clear later on). Take the good (useful/empowering) and reject the bad (limiting/destructive/disempowering)! To acknowledge your rebellious and wild characteristics, and integrate them into the rest of your personality and your other needs and your mature side, you are a 'whole'. That is not to say that you have to an occasional drug user in order to have a 'balanced attitude' to drugs. But that just because you have stopped does not mean you have to resign yourself to a life of being boring and sensible and not being crazy and expressing yourself when you feel like it. Perhaps your previous behaviour attempted to express something but failed, and that by integrating your personality and not trying to suppress any part of it, but to nurture your self and positive beliefs about yourself, you can 'have your cake and eat it'! In a positive, life affirming manner. And really express that longing properly for the first time. You may view the various 'phases', be it in terms of 'youth culture', 'spiritual beliefs' or 'attitude' in terms of an evolution, and not necessarily reject the whole 'package' of each phase, but draw from the good aspects and leave the negative behind and gain wisdom of them, so you don't repeat mistakes of the past because of wisdom and confidence rather than fear, avoidance and denial. You could perhaps see a thread running through all your experiences and the valid beliefs or aspects in each one, added together in your person now to create something far greater and 'wiser' than the sum of the parts. Each belief system had its benefits and aspects of truth, but in some ways was also very restrictive and dogmatic and perhaps even negative. Take the elements of truth and learn from them, and reject the falsehoods, dogma and aspects of self-hatred from them.
Are you guided in your thoughts and behaviour by a sense of duty, guilt and fear of retribution (legal or spiritual punishment for certain behaviours)? Or because you feel empathy for others? Or because you have a low self-esteem and others desires and needs (a stranger, a colleague, a family member, even God himself) come before your own? Or because you know intuitively what is 'you' and what isn't and just follow your instincts? How many layers of conditioning sit between your current conscious existence and your real, true self? Do you choose to 'deprogram' yourself by a variety of means, e.g. reflection, art, avant garde music or film, through philosophy, through direct experience in life (full immersion), through being honest with yourself, through psychology and studying people's behaviour or learning how people function, through NLP and Neuro-Associative Conditioning (and learning to attach the right meaning for you to events in your life past and present and indeed the hypothetical, etc.), through prayer, through meditation, through martial exercises, through periods of abstinence or ascetism (going without something makes you see it with new eyes again, to gain perspective e.g. light deprivation, severe illness), through being in the natural environment, through adventurous activities, being in dangerous or challenging situations, living life in a vital manner, immersing yourself in personal relationships and communication, exposing yourself to different ways of life or culture, or even through occult practice if this is your 'bag'? Which? If any? Life experiences are all well and good, but unless you learn to ascribe meaning to them, and a useful meaning at that, that can build true wisdom upon, they do not necessarily help, and one can indeed repeat one's experience over and over again without learning anything, being honest with oneself or growing! Ultimately you have to decide what is right for you - and to know what isn't, and preferably not arriving at that conclusion because of fear and conditioned values that may not necessarily be yours. The main thing is to try to learn why you experience the feels you do, and whether this is really you or not.
Wisdom as a process of evolution and gradual 'improvement' or expansion can be compared in a sense to the evolution of a species. A species will stagnate if it does not adapt, change and evolve, and so the human mind stagnates if it does not 'evolve' or if the learning process stops. Wisdom as a process of evolution is akin to survival of the fittest, if one stops growing then one is no longer 'the fittest' and one joins the mediocre and not particularly fulfilled.
It should be noted that educational background and age have little to do with maturity. Some extremely intelligent or academic individuals possess little personal awareness, common sense, wisdom, practicality and may be very fearful in certain respects. Being mature or immature is not a binary state, and we continually evolve as individuals, and equally we may be 'mature' in some areas and extremely childish in others. It depends on one's definition of 'immature' and what is 'adult'. One could use Eric Berne's classical definition, but equally one could argue that certain aspects of adulthood are repressed and unhelpful, but how one takes that and acts on it can be immature or just a little playful. However, when it comes to handling situations and relationships, and avoiding temper tantrums, sulking, being 'clingy' and a total lack of control over one's emotions, and reacting to everything around one, then one could say this was inded childish. There are often reasons for being emotionally stunted or not growing from child to adulthood. As John Cleese wrote in his book Families and how to survive them, a missing relationship or figure in one's childhood can leave one stuck at a certain level. It may be an event or lifestyle choice, e.g. substance abuse / recreational drug dependency; or a parent dying and a child assuming the responsibility in taking care of younger siblings etc. If one can recognise the events in one's life that have hindered one's emotional development, or what one lacked in one's childhood, e.g. sufficient play with others, encouragement, or a father figure etc., then one can use this recognition and desire for change as a catalyst to transform one's life. One can equally identify what one has lacked in the past, and nurture those activites or relationships in the present, or even just visualise them.
Schizotypal Personality Disorder may overlap with some of the concepts discussed above, specifically the tendency to drift from one activity to another, with interest and direction dropping off fairly rapidly in each instance.
'Schizotypal personality disorder is a serious condition in which a person usually has few to no intimate relationships. Such people tend to turn inward rather than interact with other people, and experience extreme anxiety in social situations. People with schizotypal personality disorder often have trouble engaging with others and appear emotionally distant. They find their social isolation painful, and eventually develop distorted perceptions about how interpersonal relationships form. They may also exhibit odd behaviors, respond inappropriately to social cues and hold peculiar beliefs. As a result, people with schizotypal personality disorder often find themselves drifting from one activity to the next, failing to connect with people as they meander through life. Schizotypal personality disorder is a chronic condition. The pattern typically begins in early adulthood and endures throughout life. There's no cure for schizotypal personality disorder, but psychotherapy and some medications may help alleviate symptoms.'
'Schizotypal personality disorder, or simply schizotypal disorder, is a personality disorder that is characterized by a need for social isolation, odd behavior and thinking, and often unconventional beliefs. The schizotypal individual develops a fear of, strong objection to, or incapacity for social interaction, due to the sum of their past social experiences being negative in nature. As infants they do not learn how to interact with others, and as children and adults this inability quickly makes them a target for other people. Eventually, the individual learns (most often unconsciously) to see people as harmful and a source of negativity, suffering and ostracization. This leads to the development of "ideas of reference," in which the schizotypal individual believes that events are of special relevance to them or that benign events are somehow related to them (e.g., sees two people laughing and believes that the people are laughing at them). The individual may realize that their ideas of reference are irrational, but maintains them nonetheless. This exacerbates the individual's social anxiety, causing them to skew away from society and withdraw into their own world.'
BlackSpy does not believe it is a 'disorder' as such, but more an issue with a person's core beliefs, where they are not positive or empowering with regards to a person's self-worth and overall drive to interact with others, the world and to find his niche and real personality. This may result in a sensitive nature, naive social ideals and low self-esteem. Such a person at an early age may choose inappropriate friends for his needs and over time become more detached and reclusive, perhaps relying only on one friend or a small number of close friends. Disappointment or negative association with social interraction may result in a reinforcing of this behaviour. Sadly, those who lack self-knowledge and self-esteem are unlikely to have a close circle of positive and matched friends, but by their social isolation or lack of experience with personal interraction, are less likely to seek out the right type of friends for them. This is exaccerbated by the fact that such a person may not really be fully themselves in whatever activity they are involved with, and by moving from one activity or identity to the next, the person may never have a chance to build up a social network of likeminded friends or associates. The mind may expect the next activity or theme to provide 'all the answers' or to be one's goal or panacea, but it rarely satisfies. Activities of themselves are rarely engaging for very long unless there is some social interraction or sharing of the experience involved, which is what makes many activities vibrant and fun.
'Schizotypal Personality Disorder' is really the 'end result' of not addressing one's negative and disempowering beliefs. This page is all about identifying those beliefs and destroying them and replacing them with empowering beliefs, those that will increase one's sense of certainty and self-worth, and allow one to really find the true self and grow some roots. Clearly BlackSpy does not subscribe to the view that taking medication or any other types of drugs will 'cure' such a condition, as a drug cannot change your beliefs. You have to do that!
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a personality disorder of prolonged disturbance of personality function in adulthood, characterised by depth and variability (instability) of moods. Some might regard this instability of mood as a lack of self-belief and a sense of a stable emotional base - a core uncertainty of belief. Black and white thinking (or splitting - into good and evil) is a typical symptom - often feelings of anger, depression, anxiety and victimisation etc. Instability of mood may also lead to chaotic and unstable personal relationships, self-image, identity and behaviour, as well as a disturbance of one's sense of self. It can sometimes lead to periods of dissociation. The terminology is no longer widely accepted in the medical community and may be revised. To categorise any of these related psychological conditions as 'disorders' is not so helpful as it implies a passive relationship to treatment and causality. It is most likely to be a result of lack of encouragement to engage in life from early adolescence, perhaps separation from many normal social activities, lack of formation of core self-beliefs and normal behavioural patterns, and it creates a kind of self-reinforcing pattern. Whilst many adolescents display some of these characteristics, and doctors are generally discouraged from diagnosing the condition in teenagers, as they are still learning about their personalities, emotions and life in general and may display some of these characteristics, the worsening or prolonged obsession with some of these modes of thinking or tendencies can be spotted and alleviated or grow out of by encouragement and pointing a teen in the right direction. Encouraged to value himself, to learn about himself and his personality, rather than fixating on dualisms in the outside world, often a projection of one's own mental inadequacies. Sometimes a lack of encouragement by parents, teachers, peers (esp. important) can lead to a person never fully committing to anything, and thus never really having the confidence to ever immerse himself in any one activity and to learn about his likes and dislikes as he has never really thought about it in a level headed manner. BPD is in a sense a lack of fulfilling certain areas of personality growth from uncertain youth and carrying this deficit through to adulthood.
Many people have experienced religious or spiritual awakening or conversion, or even what some would classify as an exorcism, in a matter of minutes, which has changed their lives forever. Such occurrences are rarely rational decisions to follow a certain path, but a bizarre rollercoaster ride which seems the right way to tackle things at the time. One may plan ahead and believe that 'one day', one will become a Buddhist etc., not convert to an 'unfashionable' religion or faith. BlackSpy is not suggesting that one has to become a Christian or Moslem necessarily to root out core negative beliefs and replace them with empowering positive beliefs. However, in many cases, it works! However, each person has to choose their own path and follow their heart. Some people may prefer using psychological techniques instead. However, in a large number of cases, such a conversion or transformation is only superficial, and although it plants the seeds of self-development, the root negative beliefs are never fully removed or nullified and serve to drag the person back to how they were before, whether the person does nothing to reinforce the beliefs, or tries and tries. Sometimes an improvement is all that occurs and not a radical and permanent transformation. NLP is all about continual conditioning, but it will not work properly if the person is not open and honest with him or herself and is willing to be humble and let go (i.e. not be controlled by the ego). Some people find that faith, whatever guise it comes in, provides more powerful leverage to wrench out the negative beliefs, associated so much spiritual pain with continuing bad habits or beliefs or behaviour. If one can create enough pain association without faith, then all the better, but faith provides an extra dimension and set of empowering (hopefully) beliefs that can work in conjunction with the rational non-spiritual, personal and world view beliefs and NLP techniques, to root out the negative and reinforce and build up the positive. Sometimes we go through the motions with psychology but deep down we just don't believe that we aren't worthless or whatever the negative poison there is. That poison and self-hatred sits fast unless something really powerful can dislodge it that can utilise total and deep sense of certainty, belief and conviction. A radical and quick shift in one's core beliefs has an immediate effect on the way a person looks, their posture and physiology, their spirit and the internal energetic system (qi). The qi pattern and imbalances can completely change in a matter of minutes, which can confuse some oriental medicine practitioners completely!
As discussed above, our mind may acquire a number of negative beliefs over time. These may be beliefs such as the interests and wellbeing of others are more important than one's own. For example, many people will be very keen to help someone with health problems or to take them to hospital, but very reluctant to actually go to see a doctor themselves when they have the same problem. It is easy to brush over our own needs as seemingly 'unimportant' or 'not wanting to make a fuss'. It is a little like 'I don't want my existence and survival to cause a fuss or inconvenience to others and draw me any attention from others'. The same principle is often carried over to those who become religious, causing similar problems in their personal life and spiritual life. For example, a person may not feel God's love, but feel that God loves others. This may work for evangelising for others, but does not make that person feel good about himself or close to God. It's as if God loves everyone else, but is indifferent about you. This is the same belief as above. 'I am not important but others are'. Rarely will such a believe lead to happiness, freedom and the ability to self-actualise fully.
Our global beliefs and conditioning can often lead us to use the same everyday approach to events around us, often tinged with a defensive protective layer, regardless of what the actual circumstances are, whether they are 'typical' (a belief in itself) or 'normal', or whether they are exceptionally lousy or exceptionally good, or a combination of all of these things. Such a tendency to adopt a single, slightly anaesthetised or negative approach can stop us appreciating good things when they happen and from simply enjoying the simplicity and beauty in a bird or a tree. Such conditioning of beliefs results in an inability to focus widely and is an addictive pattern of the conscious mind. A more productive approach is a detached clam, witnessing energy around us, rather than evaluating and judging when often there is really nothing to judge. Of course, being detached and not witnessing is an unhealthy psychological withdrawal reflecting negative global beliefs, low self-esteem and depression. The mind can often become addicted to becoming involved in every situation, rather than just observing it from a distance or from high overhead, where it does not seem such a big deal or worth becoming annoyed about. We are conditioned to 'think' rather than to 'feel'. Many people whom one could call 'negs', tend to sound negative or moan, no matter what you say to them. They feel more comfortable when the other person they are talking to is brought down to their same level, their negative beliefs spreading like a virus. When other people share your core beliefs, one feels more 'secure' and at home - not 'threatened'.
Quite often, our perception of reality is heavily distorted by perceptions of what is good and bad, with arbitrary meanings ascribed to objects or situation, which stops us seeing what is really there. This is one of the concepts of the 'Absurd' of Existentialism. The philosophy that nothing has any objective meaning apart from that which we give to it. One aspect of this is society's use of the language of polarity. The language of opposites. The language of opposition. For example, we are told that the opposite of hot is cold. What does 'opposite' really mean? What we really mean is one object has more heat energy than another, which has less. The second object is less hot. When we say the opposite of light is dark, what we really mean is dark is a condition where there is less light. And absolute quantities are difficult to describe and indeed measure! A quality is always relative. A person may be considered rich amongst one group of people and poor in another group of people. Which is he? Rich or poor? Does the terminology really mean anything? One has varying levels of abundance. There is no such thing as poor. The same concept can be applied to 'good' and 'evil'. Love and hate. There is no such thing as evil, just the absence of love. A purely evil action can be considered to be devoid of any kind of love-based norm or morality. It is an action that is done purely for the doers benefit that has extremely detrimental effects on others. It is not 'evil' per se. Monotheistic faith can be viewed the same way, there is God or not God, love or not love, and varying shades in between. Is there really such a thing as the 'Devil'? Or is this just the embodiment of rebellion and turning away from God in every area and pure ego-driven beliefs and behaviour? To an extreme? You decide. The nature of using polarity in one's perception often results in not seeing the relativity of a situation, not being objective, becoming blase and unappreciative. We may ascribe a sense of good to one extreme and bad to the other, but usually this perception shifts with time, so that we become more demanding and fussy, and only that which is closer to 'perfection' in our eyes makes us feel good momentarily.
Does God exist? If so, then what is the nature of God, what are his intentions for us, and how should be regard God and what kind of relationship should we have with him? This question has been debated over the millennia and will continue to be so until the end of humanity. Often those who seem to be on the surface to hold completely opposing beliefs often share very similar beliefs, or rather share a belief in God, but differ in the details about what God really means and what/who he is. With this foundation, it can result in vastly different world views, potentially.
BlackSpy would like to share his experiences and opinions in this area. BlackSpy has at various times in his life been a vague Christian, an atheist, a wannabe pagan, a nihilist, an agnostic, a martial arts cult member, an evangelical Christian. He has been 'normal', a vegetarian and a vegan. He has been conversative, extremely right wing, extremely left wing, a communist, an anarchist, a philosopher, at varying times in his life. He has believed in everything apart from himself (for much of his life)! BlackSpy respects people's right to hold their own beliefs and spiritual beliefs and faith. BlackSpy, personally believes that there is something that can be learned in terms of insights into one's own spirituality, understanding of a culture and of the human condition, insights into psychology and lessons one can learn, from any religion or belief system. BlackSpy, although nominally Christian, does not belief that people of other faiths will 'go to hell'. BlackSpy conceeds that most established religions draw heavily upon cultural heritage and cultural context and values, and so in some respects are not totally 'universal truths'. All systems of faith have been changed over time and by churches and the religious establishment, for various reasons.
Many systems of faith take on the values and history of their culture. Many borrow from other religions. And many embellish spiritual truths with a little creative story telling, by accident (stories handed down from generation to generation will change) to change the nature of the faith, for political purposes, or to give emphasis to certain aspects of the original faith or philosophy at the expense of others. Many nation states may carry out horrific acts in the name of their claimed religion, even if in reality their actions totally contradict the messages of that faith. This however does not necessarily mean that one should ignore all systems of faith and belief, that they are flawed or contradictory, and therefore false and rubbish; but that one needs to try to understand their history, learn from each system, keep an open mind, and try to understand what the original message of the faith or philosophy really was. And how to reach one's own spiritual enlightenment, if one is so interested in doing so.
BlackSpy adopts the philosophy that by being honest about the history of one's religion and also by examining its origins and inconsistencies, one can try to explore what constitutes spiritual truth and what a faith is/was really about; and be certain about those areas one can be certain about, and keep an open mind (relatively speaking) about those areas that one cannot. BlackSpy does not view inconsistencies within the theology or religious texts of a Religion or known historical wrongdoings as a reason to necessarily dismiss the faith behind a religion. One's approach does not have to be all or nothing.
You may find it interesting to talk to people of different religions, and notice the effect the religion actually has on their personality. A given individual will become slightly different depending on what religion they pick and how they personally interpret it and apply it. Now people can be whatever they want to be, and much of it depends on what their personality type was to start with (i.e. their real personality type, not how screwed up they were before). Islam and Christianity will take a person to subtly different places, if adopted in their traditional forms and in their entirety. To say all religions are great and equal is not really the case, although they often share many spiritual truths. The place they take to you spiritually and emotionally is different. BlackSpy has personally noticed that Sikhs are different on a psychological and spiritual level to Christians (don't ask about specifics as it is very hard to describe). Does this mean that only one faith or religion is valid? Some religions hold that other religions are valid paths, whilst the majority do not and hold that there is only one path to salvation. This is where the division between those of different faiths and indeed denominations of the same faith arise. BlackSpy in his experience has also noted that those 'white', middle class 'natural types' who become Buddhists seem to be very flakey (in his opinion). Sometimes the originating culture of a religion embraces its religion with more dignity and seemingly more naturally than a person from another culture adopting it. Of course, it depends on how culture-centric the person is and in what manner the religion is adopted.
But 'lost' 'white' people may embrace say Buddhism, and/or other new age philosophies as well, and appear therefore a little flakey - not grounded, but somehow calm and at peace as well (maybe a little too much, detached on one level that doesn't seem quite right or appropriate to BlackSpy). This is no doubt due to how they were before they adopted these beliefs or philosophies. But of course this is a personal perception and based on a small cross section of individuals in London and the Home Counties of the UK. How different people adopt such religions and belief systems elsewhere clearly varies in many respects, but perhaps shares some commonality as well. This is something for you to study and learn from. Ultimately everyone is different. If you are interested in culture and religion, then the world is your laboratory!
A Jamaican Rasta, depending on their personality and how much marijuana they smoke, may not seem ridiculous at all, but a 'white' person trying to be a 'white rasta' may well appear ridiculous. Because Rastafarianism is tied to racial identity and also Jamaican culture, and we are used to perceiving it in this manner, then we do not think anything of a 'black' Jamaican or Afro-Carribean person being a Rasta. But when it is taken out of its 'natural' context, the belief system may suddenly appear 'wierd' or 'ridiculous'. In the case of 'white rastas', they may well interpret the spirit of the religion differently to an actual Rastafarian, and focus on being a hippie and stoned, and being a drop out, and not so firey and at ease with their sexuality as a 'genuine' Rasta for example.
BlackSpy has personally found that Catholic Hispanic Americans, South Americans and indeed those from the Mediterranean seem more integrated in terms of personality, and their faith does not seem too out of step with their natural state and balance of emotions. In contrast, Protestants, especially Evangelicals from certain areas, indeed seem to be 'trying too hard' and their faith seems a little forced. BlackSpy finds that in certain working class Evangelical Christians he has come across and seen on television documentaries, their beliefs and faith are inspiring and touch, but also depressing, narrow minded, 'backwards thinking' and negative in equal measure. This is of course a personal interpretation based upon a small cross section of individuals. Evangelical culture in Europe varies to that in the US, and here Evangelicals may sometimes appear a little 'naive'. BlackSpy can personally see the good in different Christian groups, and draw on their positive attritibutes, without necessarily taking on what he considers to be 'negative'. This is of course entirely subjective. BlackSpy has noticed that the same populations (geographically) who seem a little out of step with their faith (where applicable) or not as well integrated in terms of personality, emotions and sexuality, are more likely to have pagans and satanists in their midst. This probably derives from the emotional inexpressiveness and negative aspects of the respective cultures. This is not of course universally true and is a subjective generalisation.
Many religions are 'designed' for a certain nationality or culture or a certain people, and for people outside of this ethnic group to adopt it appears a little 'odd' to an outside observer, partly because of preconceived notions of what to expect and how that 'religion' should 'look'. Clearly religions evolve in the same ways that culture evolves when people migrate from one area to another and adopt new customs and traditions into their existing cultural practices. Religion is slightly different though and usually retains certain defining key features which a culture of course does not feel bound to, and is free to completely redefine itself. Of course everyone is free to chose whatever they want. Some religions incorporate nationalism into them or racialism by default. And most religions are very divided within themselves and have many many different flavours.
It may be observed that within the same religion, even the same denomination, the actual experience of faith is totally different between people of different class, ethnic and cultural backgrounds, values and behaviour - even to the point when it may seem like a totally different religion! Clearly by staying in one's ethnic or cultural group, one may not really experience the fullness of one's faith.
For example, if there is an absolute spiritual truth, then there will inevitably be a large amount of common group between religions and systems of faith, in terms of teachings on a variety of moral matters such as doing good, selflessness and freedom from psychological and physical addictions. This is assuming that the systems of faith all have elements of ultimate truth in them. Of course, in many respects, there will always be aspects of spirituality that will be personal, in terms of application and interpretation, and here the individual must choose what is right for them. One has to separate the original message of the faith from what we see now, the traditions and cultural bias. One must decide for oneself to take a religious book or spiritual (/magical) book literally, or to interpret it in one's own way. Taking the spirit of what is being read, and deciding which areas are unquestionable solid foundations and which areas one is not sure about, that one intends to keep an open mind about. Some may choose to take every word literally.
For example, just because Christianity may appear to have borrowed certain ideas from other religions (see the section on Christianisation in the Religion section, Mainstream Religions page), for example the idea of the trinity from the Hindu religion; or the fact that it has adopted various pagan traditions, such as using the winter solstice and pagan traditions around Christmas Day and Easter (one may choose to take these dates and the celebrations with a pinch of salt, as they are perhaps slightly pantomime in nature and today highly commercialised and more about children, and consumer products and eating chocolate, receiving presents and pictures of a dude with a red hood and a beard than the actual spiritual meaning), and seemingly incorporated concepts of baptism from Egyptian pagan traditions; or perhaps indulged in a little editing of the gospels, for example, making changes to ensure continuity with the past and the predictions of the Old Testament, and to over-emphasize Jesus' connection to David; to emphasise his God aspect and downplay his human aspect; and leaving a large 30 year wholes in the story of Jesus' life out of the Bible; These things do not mean that Jesus was not a prophet or the Son of God; or that there is no validity to his teachings. It just means that one has to decide what one chooses to attach importance to, what one regards as the actual truth and original message; and what one regards as unimportant and unnecessary; and what one regards as politics; and what one regards as cultural or unnecessary spiritual appropriation; and what fringe texts one chooses to pay attention to and which one does not. Ultimately it is about one's state of mind, one's perception of the world, of enlightenment, of God, and of oneself; and how one handles the ego. That is clearly personal.
Most religions have more in common that we would like to admit. An example in case in Christianity and Islam. Muslims regard Jesus as a prophet, but are waiting for his return to earth, just like Christians. Many Christians however regard Judaism as being closer to Christianity and fear Islam, whereas many Jews regard Jesus as a fraud and as a heretic. In many ways, Islam is closer to Christianity than Judaism. In a sense, it is useful to understand Judaism to understand Christianity, especially as they share the OT (i.e. Tora). Christianity shares many of the teachings of Buddhism also, but there are of course differences. Islam acquired the tradition of humility and surrender through postration in prayer from Egyptian Coptic Christianity.
Islam, Christiantiy and Judaism co-existed in relative harmony in Cordoba, the cultural and scientific capital of Europe, during the Moorish occupation of Andalucia in Spain during the 10th Century, for example, and one should not assume that they are incompatible on religious or cultural grounds by default, on account of modern historical events, nor that fundamentalism and politicisation is by default part of these faiths. Of course, Cordoba was not the model of religious harmony, as non-Muslims were generally treated like second class citizens, and there was an underlying resentment of the Muslim occupation. But beyond this, there was a great deal of harmony in the society, more than we see anywhere today. Once the Moors left Spain, Christian kings, whilst on occasion spoiling Mosques to Christianise them as a kind of insult to Islam and a representation of religious victory, were in many cases still inspired by Moorish architecture and culture, which was often viewed as being more evolved and superior. For example, the 14th Century Alczar palace was build in the same style as the Alhambra. Southern Spain would cease to be the cultural and scientific centre of Europe. One might even argue that Spanish palate for pork and pork based food products was perhaps a reaction to the Islamic past, and a sign of cultural and religious defiance. During the latter half of the last millennium, Islamic countries and empires have been in decline with Europe and later the Americas rising to economic dominance in the world. Christianity itself has declined as well as Islam, and it is possible that in the Middle East there is a socio-economic rivalry of the West, and a jealousy of prosperity which is used by unscrupulous religious and political figures for politicial end, turning it into a religious issue. Please see the Mainstream Religions page in the Religion section for more discussion on this issue.
Whether one believes that Jesus was a prophet or the Messiah, it is clear that his teachings shared a great deal in common with Buddha, Mohammed and other prophets that came before him. Just because one believes in Jesus does not mean that there will not be any other prophets in the future. Just as BlackSpy does not like every aspect of every culture and society, does not mean that he cannot take what he likes from each culture he experiences and incorporate these into his values for life. Staying in one place can often lead to become blase, anally retentive and taking various things for granted, that are not a given in poorer parts of the world. It is the same with faith and religion in BlackSpy's opinion. One can reinterpret certain favourable and insightful aspects of other faiths within the context of one's own faith. Or draw lessons on a philosophical and spiritual level from other faiths, and learn from some of the practices of the holy men in other cultures, to help one step outside one's own cultural boundaries that affect our concept of faith and how to apply faith, and exploration of one's own spirituality.
One should not judge a faith by the actions of the majority (the hypocrites), but by the selfless actions and spirituality of the minority, and the spirit of the faith in which they embody; the austerity and simplicity of certain culture's spiritual leaders or holy men (clearly in some cultures they are not austere whatsoever!) There are of course exceptions and boundaries that one may not wish to cross or delve into too much, for example, areas one considers to be dark or negative or ego-oriented, but this is a personal decision. This web site does not draw on one source only for matters of health and psychology, but chooses to go to a huge variety of sources to try to get to the bottom of things, to find the absolute truth! BlackSpy likes to adopt a similar approach in other areas too.
One should not necessarily judge a faith or belief by the majority of those who practice it, as discussed above. Whilst it would be foolish to ignore the history of one's religion (and which many contemporary followers are extremely ignorant of), it would also be foolish to dismiss a faith because the actions of a specific Church in the past or present. We don't dissolve our governments because they made mistakes in the past (and continue to do so in the present). We work with what we've got and try to improve it and iron out the issues and problems (and of course new problems or problematic individuals indeed are introduced or emerge). Blaming current politicians for the slavery of Afro-Americans, for example, is about as meaningful as dismissing the Catholic Church because of the Crusades. The UK still has a Royal Family despite years of civil war and slaugher instigated by various Kings and Queens. Do we blame the current Royal Family for these? These various historical acts of moral barbarism and corruption were conducted by people who are now dead. They cannot not be punished (in the physical world). As long as we are not embracing these acts of barbarism and repeating them or riding on their influence, then forget about it and get over it. Equally, BlackSpy would expect any church or temple to explain the history of its denomination to its followers and to make sure they understand where it came from and how it differs from other denominations; rather than spending an hour going over 2 or 3 verses of the Bible for example and endlessly repeating oneself in an attempt to emphasise and condition (in a rather crude and basic manner). Churches should be open and honest about their past, and not be defensive about it or simply avoid the questions by pointing at other religions and pointing out their faults and past lapses of relative morality.
Even people with a virtually identical philosophy to mine come away with a different way of expressing their ideas and living them. We should celebrate our uniqueness, not use it as a source of division.
Religions evolve, and each person takes their religion to a different place and combines it with with own personal beliefs in other areas. Many progressive, modern christians are very much into NLP, oriental medicine, martial arts, philosophy, quantum physics, etc. and are quite different from the more literalist, creationists. BlackSpy doesn't think that monotheism and specifically Christianity in itself need limit one. Of course, the spiritual domain is very large and there are plenty of confusing and nasty things out there, and it's something you have to figure out for yourself.
The religions that promote promiscuity and drug taking are those that don't put much emphasis on real self love but more on the ego, such as Satanism and some Pagan religions, with certain exceptions. Of course, those with no spirituality indulge in these pursuits as well and may still believe in romanticism, love etc. There are many different types of love! Which parts of our 'self' and others we love and which parts we trample on and sacrifice depend on the individual.
You can try to be open minded, but unless you learn the perceive the different qualities in things and what they mean to you, and to differentiate, you will get screwed over by the spiritual traps and pitfalls out there (chewed up and spat out) - and hopefully learn from the experience! BlackSpy tries to tell people who are interested in spiritualism (and spirit guides etc.) that not all spirits are benevolent. One has to be careful with an 'everything spiritual is good' philosophy!
At the end of the day it is about personal growth and being honest about your experiences and not attaching arbitrary meaning to them; and understanding people and society more; understanding your place in the universe. The very young person usually have a fresh outlook and are not yet or completely tainted by cynicism. But an older person has experience of the real world (usually, or not!) You wouldn't want a 20 year old president, for example, the will might be there, but the experience, maturity and level-headedness might not. e.g. the young president might react somewhat hot headedly to certain difficult situations and say something like 'just kill the bastards!' This of course completely different to the well-informed and level headed behaviour of more elderly presidents! ;-)
Often people expect to find the perfect 'spiritual model' or philosophy for you out there, pre-packaged and ready to apply. However like in other areas of life, this is not usually the case! To arrive at your ultimate spiritual self, you may need to embrace many many different ideas and philosophies and schools of thought, at varying times of your life, perhaps not all of which are widely accepted in society, and to have the common sense and groundedness to not get all spaced out and wierd and belief a load of rubbish. So statistically it may happen very often. But society as a whole seems to be evolving and slowly increasing in its spiritual awareness, and you may be pleasantly surprised to find that there are a large number of people who think the way you do if you actually found them!
Where you have people that are good and pure of heart, you will have people trying to control it (you can see this where submissive people attract dominant people who seek out such submissive people); to be the 'official spokespeople for this pureness of heart'; to make decisions for those pure of heart; to control the practice and doctrine of the faith of these people; and over time water it down and in many cases turn it from a radical, grass roots philosophy or religion into something more institutionalised, mainstream and harmless; and indeed those that compile the 'official' books of that faith may well steer the faith in the direction of their choosing that reinforces their position and authority as the voice of that religion.
One could take the example of the Chinese Communist Party where they felt threatened by Kung Fu, and they persecuted it, nationalised it, watered it down and turned it into a showy, national sport, Wu Shu, so it would not longer be a threat. It also encouraged people to do Tai Chi instead (which is good but clearly not as dangerous!). As one is guaranteed adherents, hijacking or controlling a religion is an easy way to control a population, and limit people's activities, and to steer a religion in the direction of their choosing, which is why historically, monarchs and rulers have sought to control the Church and use religion in politics. And indeed many Churches became rich, political entities, for example, the Catholic Church or the Knights Templar. If one could go back in time to see what Jesus was actually like and his followers, it would be very interesting indeed to compare it with the Canonical Gospels and indeed the Gnostic Gospels.
When one considers a religious belief or a faith, one should consider whether one is attending religious ceremonies and services in order to 'condition' the religious belief and to reinforce it, and whether one believes what one does because one is continually trying to condition oneself to believe it, rather than actually genuinely deep down really believing it. Do many followers of different faiths simply adopt a set of beliefs because it is part of an overall package? And that they acknowledge that adopting the entire package is good for their spiritual and psychological wellbeing? Is the decision to reinforce faith a rational decision then, one deriving from a fear of losing this feeling or relationship? Rather than reflective of the actual relationship one has with God/a deity? Or a sign of real, solid foundations of belief? After all, if one holds a religious belief or set of beliefs, it is by definition not a 'rational' belief but an 'act of faith'. Therefore, should one really need to be continually convincing oneself of it? Those that are constantly convincing themselves of their faith are often those who are insecure in their faith and scared of influences that might detract from this cultivated state of religious and/or spiritual euphoria. They often have little idea of their day to day experience and philosophy in general and how it relates to their faith - they are often compartmentalised as less secure and more fragile as a result. Those that genuinely belief and do not need to convince themselves of it are usually much more secure in their faith and open minded in terms of discussion and new ideas, and less likely to stick to the most crude arguments and reasons for faith.
Clearly, many aspects of faith are rationally reinforced, but are felt in the heart. If they have to be thought about and rationalised every time one wants to feel them in one's heart, are they really beliefs that one holds? Or is one trying to 'fool oneself' into believing that they are part of one's identity and core belief system, when clearly it is really just a regular psychological reminder (or sense of guilt driving one) to condition oneself in order to feel that 'high' again in one's heart. Perhaps some parts of a theology or system of faith are easier to comprehend and truly take to heart than others. Are there other peripheral 'rules' then necessary? If we have to convince ourselves of them?
Be aware in all walks of life that what people say and what people tell themselves (that which they want (or feel they should) think or believe) isn't necessarily the same as what they actually feel and think. People with a certain affiliation often feel that they have to adopt all the views as they lack self esteem and self knowledge. They lack the necessarily life experience of the variety of situations that might explore their philosophy and beliefs system, and simply adopt a convenient 'package' or 'manual', a set of rules that tells them how to handle certain situations; and they have to keep convincing themselves of something, and often in a highly irrational and emotional manner, and it's often because they deep down think it is rubbish; but they can't let go of the belief that they are supposed to follow as it is part of their identity; as without that faith, they don't really have much of a clue about what their identity is or who they are. Whilst in Biblical times, life was somewhat simpler, in modern society, we have many different new problems and situations thrust upon us that require interpretation and many grey areas that require gutsy personal decision and feeling one's way through. Churches or Temples' sermons may offer simplistic answers to many of such problems and dilemmas. However, one really has to figure it out oneself. This is all part of maturing in oneself (and one's faith) and becoming 'older' and 'wiser'. BlackSpy once advised his brother Brad who had been a little jaded by his experiences with Christianity and religion in general was to keep an open mind and really get a taste for what is good about Christianity or other religions without getting too sucked in to be affected by the bad parts, and over time one will grow and figure it out. To come from a place of genuine belief, backed up by life experience and references. However, the approach one takes is clearly personal and up to the individual to decide.
Are those who are religious walking around scared that a situation or person may conflict with their spiritual beliefs that they feel they should uphold or who might make them feel awkward? Can one go around cocooning oneself in some kind of bubble and separate oneself from any potential spiritual conflict or 'evil influence'? There is clearly a fine balance between avoiding that which is clearly trouble and feeling secure enough in one's core beliefs to remain untouched by any negative or 'poisonous' external interference or influence - in an effortless manner.
In an ideal society, a faith doesn't present big moral dilemmas. In a society as complex as ours, there will be situations that don't fit with the classic ideals and morals of the religion (morals crafted from the past and past culture and technology/social patterns). Where faith fits in is that it helps us to evaluate both sides of every story and feel the consequences of different outcomes in one's heart and realise that often awkward situations and moral questions often do not have an ideal outcome whichever path you choose.
One is often told that one should act respectfully in church. However, one is not necessarily told that one should act respectfully towards God outside of church. Why is that? A church, whilst being a place of worship, prayer and fellowship with other Christians, is just a means to an end. It is a building. Jesus did not pray in a Christian Church, he prayed in a Jewish Temple. Should Christians not pray in Jewish Temples instead? A church or temple may be seen to build up a degree of 'spiritual energy' though continual use by those of a certain faith. However, it is ultimately just a building. God is supposed to be everywhere, not just present on Sundays at church. By making a church 'holy' and a 'safe' place for faith, is the implication therefore that the outside world is 'unclean' and 'unsafe' and that God is absent outside the walls of the church and the sermons of the Priests? Does a church reinforce a culture of dependency and a sense of compartmentalisation of one's faith relative to the other places/relationships one has in one's life. Clearly association creates emotion and on some level there will inevitably be compartmentalisation, but it is up to the will of the individual to 'fight' this tendency. Why not take a more uniform and integrated approach?
Perhaps the compartmentalisation that comes from attending Church on Sundays, as a member of the congregation or as a Priest, results in one feeling that one has fulfilled one's spiritual needs or duties within that arena, so that once outside of this world, one can continue as 'normal' and fulfill all one's other needs, and basically do what you like, within certain limits. Is a 'surrender to God' on one day a week or two days a week a licence to massage your ego on all other days of the week? Clearly it should not be, but for many it is.
There is considerable debate with the Anglican Church in the UK regarding the ordination of female bishops, and even homosexual bishops (as of 2008). In the interests of equality, there should be female bishops. However, perhaps it is more relevant to discuss the role of bishops and priests in the church, and perhaps change their role, to one equal to the congregation, take them off the payroll of the Church of England. It would be better if a priest or bishop performed his duties in his spare time, out of passion, rather than making a comfortable salaried career out of it. Were the Apostles on a salary? Should a priest have a comfortable life where he gets paid to do what he wants? This surely attracts career priests and bishops, much like politics attracts career politicians, who are interested in a 'cushy number' and serving himself and climbing the greasy pole, rather than actually serving the people. Is the Church there to protect its own, or is it there to serve the people? This is probably why some (clearly not most or all) Catholic priests end up indulging in illicit sexual activities with young boys, as they feel they have licence to do what they like outside their priestly duties (through compartmentalisation and satisfying their spiritual needs), particularly if they know their church will protect them, pretty much no matter what they do, as they come above their congregation.
BlackSpy is not 100% convinced that any single belief system or spirituality will ever offer all the answers, but that as humans we need to continue to grow and learn and of course, make up our own minds as it should rightly be. And have a personal relationship with the creator if you want one. It is unlikely that anyone would 'give up' their faith after it pulled them out of a personal hell, i.e. adopting a faith to save oneself from drug addiction, and then conveniently leaving it aside to be 'normal' or 'average consumer' again. It doesn't quite work like that! But you never know. What happens more is that a person backslides into past behaviour and loses the faith or drops back a few notches into a grey area (and potentially completely regressing to their previous destructive and addiction ruled lifestyle); or evolves their faith and spirituality, rather than simply dropping it as they don't have a 'need' for it. There is a perception that faith is only for the extremely screwed up, and is something that you go for as a 'last resort'. Balanced and happy people however do choose to believe in God as they feel it enhances their lives. No spiritual life is going to be easy on account of our modern hyper-consumerist society and its complex situations and obsessions and abstraction. If we merely achieve goals and are successful and well balanced and have friends - is this enough? Is this meaningful? Well, we need to look at the 6 fundamental human needs and whether we are fulfilling these. We need to contribute beyond ourselves also. Whether we choose to do so in the spirit of faith or just through being 'good' is a matter of personal choice. These fundamental human needs operate whether one is religious/spiritual or not.
One could relate this whole question of conditioning to the area of psychology and NAC as discussed above. Positive beliefs require some reinforcing, as if left unchecked they can slowly be eroded by negative beliefs taken on from our environment or through the self-criticism of our egos. Does this also apply to spiritual beliefs? If so, why? If a spiritual belief doesn't serve a justifiable purpose, then why have it? Is the spiritual belief there because it makes rational sense and it benefits the 'self' in the here and now? Does it reflect your own life experiences and observations? Does it represent a higher form of wisdom? Or the belief there in order to cultivate whatever you feel you 'should' be doing or feeling in order to gain your 'spiritual prize' after you die? Should spiritual beliefs be there because of reflection and observation of 'spiritual realities'? Or are they merely empowering beliefs we use so we can keep up a 'spiritual high'? Are spiritual beliefs there because they serve a direct purpose in self-improvement or happiness - like other positive beliefs? Or are they 'parallel' or even conflicting beliefs? Are our religious beliefs in fact conflicting with some of our other core beliefs in certain respects? Which of these types of belief are valid and which are detrimental (if any) to our character? It clearly depends on the belief system, and the individual. One should consider that if one simply goes about one's daily business without giving it much thought, their power will most probably be eroded to some extent, and we may well end up being caught up in the mundane, perceived physical/emotional needs and the trappings of the ego. It of course depends on the individual. One would like to think however that certain core beliefs never require reinforcing, but are there to stay and can never be uprooted. One should consider the fact that most people (if not all) NEED to get out into the outdoors and smell fresh air and see wild plants, animals, birds and trees, preferably water and hills, in order to restore perspective and sanity away from urban environments, to restore balance. Does such a principle apply to the spiritual domain as well?
If one is religious or spiritual, one would like to think the basic tenets of one's belief system would be so. It is as if a spiritual seed or spirit lives or resides within one. Or rather, it was there all along and we are just more aware of it and at ease with it and able to embrace this side of ourselves. What is faith? What is being a 'genuine Christian'? In general terms it could be defined as having a feeling of unconditional love towards humanity in one's heart. Monotheistic religions in addition tend to have a more literal personal relationship with God, like being in love with God, as opposed to more panentheistic views of God where one feels the essence of God (of love and lifeforce) in everything and in one's heart - and one feels connected to it (this can of course be interpreted in many ways and where this 'God' derives from and how much of 'God' is a part of us and how much of 'God' is a universal divinity that we can try to align ourselves to); and there are of course many variants somewhere in the middle; and indeed many ways of interacting with God and involving the ego. Clearly, as with any other source of unconditional love, whether based on secular and/or spiritual beliefs about oneself, others and the universe, a feeling of love, deep down happiness and freedom requires some 'work' - to reinforce feelings of gratitude etc. If one makes no mental effort, ingratitude or 'being used to certain things' sets in and one loses one's edge. Cultivation and control of focus is therefore required on some level (and in certain areas) to maintain and even enhance one's core positive feelings. It depends on how you want to feel at the end of the day. You don't HAVE to do anything!
Of course, many philosophers argue that if one believes that one understands the universe, then one understands nothing, and if one keeps an open mind and acknowledges that one indeed knows nothing, then one is indeed wise. To recognise what you do not like or do not want is to learn more about yourself and what you genuinely do want. One can really appreciate what one has and what one wants if one has gone without it and indeed is familiar with the consequences of not having it, or indeed having the opposite. This is where perhaps a basic understanding of other belief systems and indeed those that lie at the fringes of one's faith is useful, so one can understand oneself and what one does actually believe better; and indeed one can discuss faith with others of other religions and be respected for being knowledgeable and logical; rather than talking from a place of ignorance.
In fact BlackSpy's renewed interest in matters of faith after a period of materialism in his life was the result on researching 'fringe' areas and of reading about Freemasonry and the Occult. If Albert Pike and the Bavarian Illuminati hated Jesus so much, then surely there must be something good about him! This was BlackSpy's logic inspiring him to read and study more and where the boundaries of his faith actually were, and what he truly believed and what he was merely convincing himself that he believed as it was a 'good idea'. It was a result of the 'stick' rather than the 'carrot'. People differ in their motivations and some may be more 'opportunity' focussed whilst others may be more focussed on 'avoiding pain'. To focus a religion narrowly on 'avoiding pain' or 'going to Hell' rather than portraying the positive aspects of faith is clearly a mistake and this is why Christianity for example as portrayed by many churches alienates so many people.
BlackSpy doubts that the nature of the universe is any less complicated that the nature of the spiritual domain. Something can be simple and yet complicated at the same time, depending on the level of detail you want to go into and how you want to apply it to all different manner of scenarios. And indeed the further one tries to extend a certain philosophy or belief system, the more it seems to contradict itself. It may never be possible to break down particle physics to the smallest 'building blocks'. The field of quantum physics and indeed astrophysics is indeed full of theories that cannot be tested empirically or proven. And indeed fanciful theories are constructed to avoid the contradictions in the 'universal' laws that we use in our world today, depending on the scale one is looking at, e.g. dark matter, dark energy and M-theory. Is light a particle or a wave? It is neither but it is both. Does this make sense? Presumably the spiritual realm is bound to be just as difficult/impossible to fully comprehend and seemingly contradictory, depending how crudely one is trying to understand it. Perhaps this is a reason to examine it; or perhaps this is a reason not to rationalise it; or perhaps this is a reason to try to distill it down to its very essence, the core feelings that define that faith (and perhaps for that person).
In a sense, all people who hold a firm religious or moral belief are by definition hypocrites. A faith seeks spiritual perfection, but this is impossible, so why does the person believe it if they can't attain it or aren't behaving consistent with their claimed beliefs all the time? So why pick on Christians? Christians are a fashionable target for ridicule or for criticism, often on account of the few visible proponents or political figures who claim to be Christian whilst not really representing Biblical values at all. Everyone is a hypocrite in some capacity. No one is perfect. Should we not strive to improve ourselves? But we should be humble about it and not claim anything necessarily for ourselves or seek to bolster our 'righteous position' or ego. If there is a harsh, difficult truth in the universe in the area of faith, then it is what it is, and it's either true or it isn't (completely). But it is not our place to judge. That's someone else's job! To interpret a genuine desire to help some spiritually as that person being hypocritical is also a very cynical and one sided way of viewing the situation.
BlackSpy would like to point out that the philosophy of this web site is that of self-empowerment and understanding the self on all levels. However, to some extent, this may 'cut into' one's faith. Those that maintain and condition themselves to stay in the 'zone' of a 'spiritual high' may well regard this philosophy as cynical and somewhat anti-faith or at least moving away from 'God' to some extent, even if one maintains one's spiritual beliefs. To some extent this is true. It all comes down to what you want, how much self-actualisation you want, how much you want to adopt the philosophy of 'God helps those who help themselves' and to what extent you want to experience 'total surrender to God'. There is clearly a grey area in the middle, and it is slightly different in nature to the pure 'trust in God' philosophy - it clearly adopts more of a focus on wisdom, knowledge and intellect. It is more philosophical in nature. Exactly how you relate your spiritual beliefs, if any, to your life philosophy and understanding of yourself is clearly up to you to figure out!
BlackSpy has personally experienced different 'modes' or values/philosophies in a short space of time, as part of his attempt to integrate his own personal spiritual beliefs (mainly Christian-based) with philosophies, concepts and ideas from other religions and philosophies, which are somehow 'sandwiched' together. At times, BlackSpy feels himself going off too far on a tangent and losing touch with his spiritual core, and perhaps embracing resistance or adversarial qualities too much (which thinking of being in opposition to something else, the ego seems to excessively take over). Such moments, BlackSpy feels extremely uncomfortable, as if he isn't really being himself but is on some 'knee jerk' rollercoaster ride. When he senses this, he can shift his perception of the situation, whilst retaining most of the original ideas and philsophies, but returning to a point of 'balance', where he is still within the envelope of his own self and not being controlled by the insatiable power cravings of the ego. The ego is still there, as it is a survival tool, but it is not trampling over one's intuition and spiritual consciousness and core values. The shift towards selflessness and conventional concept of Christian faith and the Holy Spirit is quite seemless, and at times it feels right and appropriate to operate in this mode. The different modes are not that compartmentalised - they are of course different in spirit, but the core values that define the self remain in each one. However, one could argue that this is never going to achieve the intensity of relationship with God that a 'hardcore evangelical Christian' would experience. BlackSpy however values psychology, philosophy, health, science, wisdom and self-determinism, and does not see that these should be just 'dropped' in favour of a religious belief, but integrated somehow. There is a balance, but it is not always clear where that balance exactly is. That will however come with time. BlackSpy does however feel more comfortable in himself than he has in the past, and feels that he is getting very close indeed to his true self.
In some regards, BlackSpy appreciates many of the ideas of Christian Existentialism and in particular, Soren Kierkegaard. However, BlackSpy does however have a non-existential view of God also, that there is on some level a universal truth and spirituality. Please read the Existentialism section for more information.
In a sense, religious or spiritual beliefs are just an extension of our other beliefs. When a person believes in a certain religious concept or spiritual belief, he often does so because it sounds appealing or it is the way he feels things 'should be'. Spiritual beliefs are often created or taken on in order to justify a person's actions or behaviour or an ideal of behaviour, or to support inaction, or even to provide a kind of 'opium' for the mind - a kind of leverage to feeling good that might not be possible otherwise with 'secular beliefs' that do not go as deep into the psyche and seem like 'good ideas' rather than 'musts', with less emotional leverage attached to them. BlackSpy has noticed that a person's religious or spiritual beliefs often reflect their general attitudes or beliefs in other areas, and the more outlandish one's beliefs are, the more likely it is that one's spiritual beliefs will be as outlandish, if not more so. BlackSpy has personally found that Conspiracy Theorists or 'Truthers' to have the most far out religious or spiritual beliefs, and these often reflect their frequently far out secular beliefs or ideas on current affairs. Religious or spiritual principles or motivations are also often attached to these conspiracy theories, 'sexing' them up even more, creating even more 'unreality'.
To read about BlackSpy's own views on spirituality and belief, please see the main body of text on the Mainstream Religions page, in particular the section on Christianity; the Left-Hand and Right-Hand Paths page, the Afternote section on the Gnostic Luciferianism page; and also the final section of the article on the CoS. To read about the history of Personal Development, please see the Psychology Links page.
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